The moment that I decided I would help people was when I realized I had finally learned to help myself.
My second daughter was a challenging baby, she had colic for the first 5 months and screamed every night until 11pm, at which time she crashed from exhaustion and slept beside me, nursing every few hours. I ended up going through a bout of postpartum depression a few months later.
I am typically a very sociable person. I took my first daughter to many, many mom and baby programs and I had made a few close mommy friends. With my second daughter, when I was going through postpartum depression, I found myself avoiding people. Some days I didn’t have the energy for small talk. I was burnt out from taking care of a baby and a toddler. I didn’t have much else to give. On top of that, I was hiding my pain and struggle from those close to me, other than my poor husband who took the brunt of my troubles. I didn’t want them to think I was weak or a bad mom. I can honestly say it was the toughest year of my life.
The end of my maternity leave was coming near and I had a decision to make about my career. I felt stuck and I felt ashamed for not being grateful for my career BUT that year had changed me and I knew that I had to do things differently going forward if I wanted to continue to stay well and live a happier life. I was terrified of going back to that dark place. I didn’t want to be a miserable person, wife or mom. I learned that I was the only one that could make those changes, no one else could do it for me.
I didn’t let the strong pull of my familiar job get in the way of me rising to my dreams. I had worked 10 years in healthcare as a genetic counselor. I was good at my job and at one time it had defined me. You see, people were always impressed by my job title. Genetic counselors are studious and smart, two traits that I really wanted people to think I had. On top of that, I was sure that my colleagues would think I was insane to quit. I wasn’t insane, but I had changed. I had had a wake up call, an awakening and I’m so grateful for it.
Postpartum depression had me crying in the kitchen while my husband and kids were laughing and playing in the next room. Feelings of overwhelm and sometimes outbursts of downright rage would take hold of me. I wasn’t risking going back to that.
I had gotten therapy but knew that this was my chance to set up my life differently and make my wellness a priority. So I worked with a coach myself and I quit my full time job.
I used savings to get my coaching certification, I learned meditation and I coached my own practice clients during my daughter’s naps and in the evenings. Slowly, slowly, I worked at it, all while trying to hold myself and my family as a priority. I’ve met a network of female entrepreneurs around me in my first year of business who are inspiring and authentic.
Not every day is perfect but I am stronger than ever. You might say, I rose out of the ashes like a Phoenix. (I love that visual!).
What I believe about my work above all is: that it is important. Let me elaborate. I believe that many moms are not living out their true potential because they are afraid to fail, afraid to look like a weirdo, afraid that they are not good enough, afraid that they are unworthy, don’t think they have any options, and on and on. I was one of these moms.
This coaching thing is important. It unlocks the potential in women who may have otherwise continued to play small. It supports women to make choices that honour their own values and needs. The world needs more of these women stepping up in a powerful way and running the show!
When people ask me what I do I say “I’m a coach who works with moms”. This does NOT do it justice. If you get to the heart of what I really do and why, you’ll find that much of what I do is draw out the genius in others. The moms that I work with are already “successful” by most traditional definitions of the word but they don’t feel it. They are stuck between their dedication to their kids and their ambition to accomplish the dream they have in their soul. I see them and I see their potential. I uncover that dream and lovingly nudge them to discover their power to execute it.
My journey to this place has been painful and challenging at times. My daughters, husband and close family and friends have supported me along the way and have dotted my path with moments of joy. Everyday I have to continue to make choices that will keep me strong and sane. I hold tightly to the person that I have become. I honor the person that I used to be and I keep pushing forward because I believe that a healthy mom supports a healthy family and healthy families are the cornerstone of a healthy community. This is how we heal the world ladies, one mom, one family, one community at a time.
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