Amara Wagner is a speaker and coach who empowers moms to trust their intuition and guides them, with practical tools, to raise naturally healthy families. Her private and group coaching programs help moms navigate holistic parenting with a sense of humor and without dogma. She specializes in helping holistic-minded mamas parent from an intuitive place, without sacrificing their own health. Amara provides a unique, down-to-earth approach to moms who want to feel confident using whole foods and ancient remedies to support their family’s health.

To learn more about Amara and her programs, please visit www.amarawellness.com or www.fiercelyintuitivemamas.com.

Does this happen to anyone else?  Here I am, I still have months to go before this baby is born and if I could just wear pajamas all day or better yet nothing at all (unfortunately it is too cold for that 🙁 ) I would.

Nothing fits. From underwear and bras to everything else.

I have been lucky that some friends have passed me their maternity or just larger size clothes, so I have a basket to choose from.  But because these are not my clothes that I picked out some of them are really not my style, or taste or are just super loud.

But I have to wear something (at least on the days when I am going out in public) so I try and pick through the pile and find something that covers me and doesn’t make me feel too much like I am wearing a sack.

You already know how I feel about waistbands and that is only getting worse as my waistband completely disappears and my skirts end up riding just under my bra strap.

By the end of the day (or let’s be honest a couple of hours in), I am so tired of having fabric touching me there.  My small one is also in her super wiggly, kicky somedays it feels violent stage of life, so I am being tactically bugged by the outside and inside of my body.  

I love that I can feel her wiggle and know that she’s fine, but incessant hiccups can get to be a bit much.  I understand and want her to develop her lungs and diaphragm. I know that kicking and hitting me is helping her bones form and harden.  I get all this. But sometimes that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to hand the whole baby bump over to my husband and let him carry her for a while.  Especially as she starts to sit on my bladder and push tummy acids back up my esophagus. As I told hubby just the other night, he gets to go to work each day and forget about his pregnant wife at home and I have this constant wee creature poking me and waking me up in the morning.

But seriously this clothes issue is driving me nuts.  It is so depressing to feel like nothing will be comfortable once I put it on. I think my favorite part of the day is when I can lie in bed and not worry if I have anything on at all.

Oh, and I was totally floored the other day when I put my expensive just under my knee-high bog boots on.  They went on just fine. I thought I was never going to get them off though. Apparently my calves have changed size as well.  Which sucks because I am assuming chances are high that we will have cold weather if not several inches of snow on the ground before this small one has left my body.  And I really don’t want to wear another pair of snow boots.

I keep putting up clothing items that no longer fit in a box.  I know that at some point I may get to wear them again. I say may because post pregnancy bodies are never the same as pre pregnancy ones, and each one changes you a little.  Plus I’m currently on thyroid medication and that may or may not play into things on the other side.

So I am over here in my uncomfortable clothes, waiting.  I have months and weeks still to go. I have holiday celebrations to get through including my 40th birthday.  I have no idea what I am going to wear. We won’t even touch the laundry issue going on right now. Let’s just say preteen girls are not the most reliable and leave it at that.

Well, I am going to have to end this here and actually go find some clothes to wear today.  I have places to go and people to see so it’s not avoidable, unfortunately. However most days I don’t get dressed before noon.  So that’s a start, right?

PS.

Want more brutally honest stories about Motherhood? Check out my Mommy Rebellion book!

I believe I am one of the fortunate few that does not stress about the up coming Holiday session. I am honestly not exactly sure why that is. It might be because my favorite holiday is actually Halloween, and I start preparing for THAT ..in August.

As the hype for a bigger, brighter, sparklier, does not include batteries, holiday seems to get worse with every passing year, the pressure to be Instagram’s next Martha Stewart can get pretty intense.

Here are some of things that my family does to not to go too crazy, when the rest of the world seems to be foaming at the mouth over the next must have thing.

1.Pinterest

…just back away slowly- Pinterest used to be one of my favorite sites, a whole website dedicated to organizing thoughts, ideas, pictures and recipes. I used to love going down that rabbit hole, pinning to my hearts content! At some point it stopping being fun and it started to judge me. Obviously, if I did not make my child’s birthday completely by hand, out of mason jars and burlap, I better not even THINK about showing my face in the drop off line in school the next day. Not writing every gift tag in calligraphy? How DARE I!, Buying ornaments, instead of making them out of mud and seeds that you can plant in the spring? FOR SHAME!

Pinterest CAN be a great jump off point, but unless you were born with a golden hot glue gun in your hand, 90 percent of those pins are going to come out looking like you went 60 rounds with an entire craft store, and the glitter won.

How do I combat the Pinterest Pressure? I made up a motto that I stand by, (and often have to repeat to myself when tying to make a wreath bow) “Pinterest is for INSPIRATION not DUPLICATION”

I almost never try to copy a Pin, I will take an idea and turn into my own creation. This has done wonders for my crafting self esteem, and if that wreath bow goes way off the mark and starts looking like all three of my cats used it as a scratching toy, I just say the kids helped me!

2. Ditch the Gift List

I have two daughters ages six and nine, we have never made a present list “for Santa”. We write him letters, but it does not include a laundry list of stuff that must be under the tree. It is not because we, as parents wanted to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, it was because some years we were a bit broke. We would ask the kids, about the one thing that they would REALLY want for Christmas and that has come from us parents.
“Santa”, has gotten them things, that “he thought” they might like.

I have found this poem very helpful in navigating the present idea black hole, “Something you want, Something you need, Something to wear, and Something to read”, (the books usually will come from “the cats”, cause kitties love to curl up with the kiddos while they read). Groupon is great for discounts on experiences, like a trampoline park, or tickets to an event. Stocking Stuffers can be inexpensive and even kids like fuzzy silly socks.

This method of not having a list, has taken so much pressure off of gift giving, and saves the kiddos the disappointment on Christmas morning, if “Santa” did not give them that weird gadget that blinks and makes unicorn poop. I have never had to fight in a line, for the last available thing that sings and giggles.

In all honesty, my kids have been pretty content with their loot, they both seem to have that ONE thing, that they REALLY want, and they usually start talking about it, (constantly) right after their birthdays (which are both in MAY), so it tends to be pretty clear. Not having a list has allowed my kids to truly be surprised, because they honestly have no idea what they are going to get.

3. Find the Fun and the Free! 

While the statement “give experiences not things” does make me roll my eyes, it is actually very true, unless your getting a puppy, or a car. Looking around for free or inexpensive things to do locally, does put the holiday spirit back, without torturing your wallet.

Our local mall turns a store into a “Winter Wonderland”, where kids can write letters to Santa, watch holiday movies, make crafts, and the entire thing is FREE! Now, most of the time I would rather shove hot needles in my eye before going to the mall, but on a gross winter day, when every one has had too much sugar from the tenth holiday party they went to, this is a awesome way to let off some pre-present opening steam.

Qur family has come up with our own tradition, a hot chocolate party on Christmas eve. We make real hot chocolate, (I got the recipe from Pinterest, ha!), we get into cozy fuzzy pjs, and we watch holidays movies, usually Elf, which is a favorite. We garnish our hot chocolate any way we want, putting candy canes, chocolate chips, marshmallows, whip cream, you name it! If it can fit into the cup, then they can have it, and they have gotten pretty creative in their hot chocolate “decorating”!

Over the years, my kids have consistently asked for this part of celebrating more then any other. I usually spend maybe $20 on ingredients, dust of the holiday snow man mugs that we used every year, and have a ball! One year we all made matching t-shirts, to go with our matching pj pants, the kiddos LOVED it!

I only have so many years left, before my kids stop believing in Santa and the magic of the holidays, so I do try to make the most of it.

I try to remember, what I liked most as a kid, the lights, the cookies, hanging ornaments on the tree. It can be so hard not to get caught up in the frenzy, as the kid’s friends get cell phones, and the latest unicorn poop making thing.

You are totally allowed to take the whole thing down a notch or two, to tell your kids, this is what our family does.

SO go grab that cup of hot chocolate, over fill it with marshmallows and watch a cheesy Hallmark Holiday movie…

I will be on Pinterest…planning my Halloween costume for next year. 🙂

Happy Holidays,

Jannine

One of the strange things that happen when you are pregnant is how time changes.  It sounds strange but let me explain.

Pretty much from the moment, I get the positive pregnancy test time seems to halt.  I think it’s because I get pretty bad morning sickness (though nothing like the women who need to be hospitalized for it) and so each day feels like a year of moving through mud. Especially that first trimester. Everything seems to take forever and each day lasts so long…. It’s hard.

At some point, I end up taking afternoon naps.  And often more than that 20-minute power nap, I prefer at least an hour and a half when I am pregnant.  This time around for a whole host of reasons I have not had regular naps. At first, it was because that was the only time I could connect with hubby who was in India.  Now more often than not it has to do with afternoon activities I need to get my older girls too.

But I have been getting a few more naps in. And when that happens my days also feel endless because it gets confusing where one day ends and another begins.  Especially when I often fall asleep pretty deeply in those naps and am pretty groggy when I wake up,because none of the sleep rules for naps really work when you are pregnant, and if there is any kind of alarm involved I will probably be pretty groggy on the other side when it is not just me existing in this body.

The third trimester which I cross over into at the end of this month often brings its own time slips.  Baby is super active toward the end of the second trimester but as they get bigger they have less space to squiggle in, but when they do they make my whole bump undulate.  And I already know from experience that I am pretty miserable from week 36 on, so it’s often a matter of how can I get through the day, because all I want to do at that point is eat, pee and sleep.  That is when I do a lot of marathon book reading usually. Just to pass the time, because I am pretty uncomfortable in my own skin. I often think of it like the scene in one of the Narnia books where Edmund has to shed his dragon skin and it is relieving and painful all at the same time.  That is how I feel during those last weeks.

Time also feels endless because I don’t know when the baby is going to come.  I don’t choose to have an induction date, and yes my third child came 12 days after her due date.  And she was fine. But I don’t pick my children’s birthdays, they do and while the body works with them, new evidence pretty much says that the fetus decides when organized labor begins.  3 out of 4 of my children have been born on a Friday which has been really helpful for their dad. My last one was born on the Friday night of Columbus Day weekend, so we had lots of recovery time.  (Note my Monday child came when her dad was working from home, so really she was just as convenient.)

Labor itself slows time and speeds it up and it’s kind of ceases to exist for me. I went to the birth center at night with my firstborn, and because there were not any windows where I birthed, even though she came around noon my impression and memory are she was born at night.  My fourth born came so fast that we all lost track of time and it was the midwife on the phone who had any idea what time she was born.And of course, after the baby is earthside time goes super wonky.  It becomes feeding, and wakefulness with this new soul and sleeping when you can and peeing and drinking and trying to spend time with your other children and hubby and yet also being bone tired.  Those first few weeks drag and fly all at the same time.

But in a lot of ways that is parenthood in general.  Every day has moments you just have to grit your teeth and get through.  Every day has good moments in it too, even if it’s just the five minutes you laid and bed and pretended to still be asleep.  Or celebrating with your partner that everyone is still alive at the end of the day. It is so amazingly hard and wonderful and gross and beautiful all in the same day.

Maybe time never really truly goes back to normal?  I mean the younger your child is the more they live in the now, and even as adults we don’t want to be as patient as we have to be.  Maybe this steady march of time is just for people who don’t live with children?I am really not sure. I just know that growing another being sure messes up my concept of time.  

PS. Read more parenting adventure in my Mommy Rebellion, Brutal Honesty About Motherhood and Other Sh*t We Pretend We Love Everything About.

I need to write a blog post.  But my almost (as in 8 days) 6 year old has other ideas.  I prefer to write without having people talk to me, or a lot of distracting noise.  So of course she has decided she needs to lie on the floor of my office and play on her tablet.

She is supposed to be using one of her educational apps.  Rather than playing games as we have a lot of driving scheduled this afternoon and that is when she gets to play games on her tablet.

 Yes I would love for my life to be such that she didn’t have technology in the car.  But if she doesn’t have her tablet she spends the whole time talking to me, and wanting me to follow her stories, and asking me how the universe works while I am driving and dealing with the other kids in the car. 

 That becomes a safety issue.  She is so insistent on the answers to her questions, and often I am dealing with weather, traffic and/or trying to listen to my audio book (which is some days the only “me” time I get) and it becomes really distracting and then frustrating to talk to her while all of this is going on.

 If I let her take her tablet with her she doesn’t need me as much and she is happy playing her games.  My other kids are often either listening to an audio book as a group with me, or listening to their own audio books separately.  But my six year old doesn’t really like audio books. At. All. She likes being read to by a person, but not often just listening to a book.

 We live about a half an hour from everything.  Or at least it feels that way. The closest local grocery store is about 15 minutes down the road, and there are convenience stores closer than that, but anything else, is about a half an hour away.  Including everyone’s Girl Scouts. So at a minimum of twice a week we are gone doing stuff that is at least a half an hour away from home.

 I am as environmentally conscious as I can be.  We don’t run to town every day, and I do my absolute best to group all  my errands on days when we are out anyway and in that particular town. Except for the occasional international trips we don’t fly and we are in the midst of harvesting and preserving a lot of local food.  We also grow a lot of the meat and all of the eggs we eat which makes their carbon footprint smaller if not a positive as it helps increase the organic matter on our small acreage.

 So our twice weekly car trips tend to be long, a minimum of an hour in the car and more often longer as we are doing a bunch of stops along the way.  And that’s okay. But it also means that I don’t have the brain power to explain how the universe works while I am driving, because these trips usually are late afternoon into the night kind of trips and even without being pregnant I am tired.

 So I totally allow technology.  We used to have a dvd player in the back seat and they would watch dvds.  However, when that broke we didn’t replace it as it was free to us to begin with.  I am not sure they would all agree on what to watch at this point anyway. But when they were all super little it was a godsend when it was working.

 We are working on giving our kids a pretty analog childhood.  A little tv, some tablet time, and they have an Amazon Echo for music and audio books.  And otherwise they spend hours outside everyday and their only interaction with the computer is for schoolwork.  And we do as much of that with real books and paper still as we can.

 Well my cute almost 6 year old has moved on.  She is currently playing with her sisters and hopefully working on their chores as we are out from 2 pm until 8 pm tonight.  It has taken me hours to write this post, but here it is anyway. She’s just ducked in again for a complaint and a hug.  

 Because this is how things get done here, in and around the girls.

Read more of my parenting adventures in my Mommy Rebellion: Brutal Honesty About Motherhood and Other Sh@t We Pretend We Love.