Put Your Own F*cking Oxygen Mask On FIRST

As a toddler mom to a busy little boy, a full time entrepreneur, and full time dog rescue worker the concept of burnout is something I’m highly familiar with. When it comes to putting your own f•cking oxygen mask on I’ve learned that it’s not only something supportive, but necessary to create lasting forward movement. 

I’ll backtrack a little bit…

My journey in online entrepreneurship started simultaneously with my journey of motherhood. I gave birth to my son knowing that I didn’t have a backup plan for creating income to provide for my family. As soon as I started my maternity leave, there was no looking back or returning to work. I simply refused to leave my son with someone else!  

In the midst of navigating growing an online business, I was also learning how to be a mom. We all know there is no handbook to life and I’ll be the first to admit that I failed a lot along the way. 

The early stages of caring for a newborn left me crying in the livingroom at 3am more times than I can count. The same is true for business. Anyone that tells you either of these experiences is always easy…is lying. 

When it came to “self-care” I didn’t make any space intentionally for this. I was driven by my desire to create the freedom I was craving in my life, but the constant hustle came at a huge cost. 

The alarms started to sound when I noticed that I wasn’t making movement in my business, my personal relationship was struggling and I constantly felt like I was in survival mode. Hello stress and anxiety, nice to meet you. 

I recognized that something had to change. This is when I discovered that putting my own f*cking oxygen mask on was non-negotiable. 

Everything started to shift when I began prioritizing my wellbeing. 

Once I got intentional with my time, focused on tasks that produced the highest return on investment, and really focused on the intention behind my goals I was able to find a harmony that felt good. 

I’m going to share the ways that I put my own f*cking oxygen mask on, but I also want to encourage you to get curious. Your life dynamic might look really different from mine. The things that make you feel good get to be unique to you, and that is where this gets to be fun!

 1) Plan ahead. 

I’m a spur of the moment kind of gal, I love to be kept on my toes but that doesn’t always support my wellbeing. I’ve learned that in order to be a wizard with my time, I need to plan my life and business ahead as far as possible. 

Some tools that I use to do this are my Google Calendar and Trello. I create recurring events for anything I can predict in advance and I make a year-ahead board in Trello to mark down things like school vacations, holidays etc. 

2) Leave room for changes. 

Just because you have a plan, doesn’t mean life always goes as planned. Cars break down, kids get sick, life happens unexpectedly sometimes. 

If you want to be able to ride the waves you must get into the mindset that sometimes shit just goes wrong, and that is okay. This isn’t about being perfect, it’s about keeping your shit together for the long-term. 

Start planning for the unexpected. Get AAA, have a babysitter on call, make a list of your support system. Knowing what to do when something goes awry is going to set you up for the unplanned. 

 3) Get your priorities straight.

This goes hand in hand with planning and gets easier with practice. Before I had my son I always went about life a little bit willy-nilly. We moved a lot, I jumped from job to job, meals were never planned…life was a bit scattered. 

What happens if we don’t set an intention? Life just sort of happens and we’re left wondering where the hell time went and how we got here. If you want to feel good in your day to day, and look back feeling a sense of fulfillment? 

Be intentional. 

Sit down and prioritize. Set your budget, consider how much time you are spending on what & where, look at the things you want to accomplish. This will help you reverse engineer your plans. 

When we prioritize what really matters to us (psst, self care should be on that list) we’re able to fulfill all of our needs. 

4) Ask for support. 

In everything we do it’s essential to have support. After learning this the hard way in business, and spending the first year of motherhood feeling really freaking lonely I can tell you that support is crucial. 

As you’re setting your priorities and wondering “how the hell am I going to do all of this?!” I want you to start looking at what you can take OFF your plate. 

Getting support doesn’t make you less-than or unworthy. It doesn’t make you a bad mom/wife/sister/friend. 

Trust me when I tell you that everyone will benefit when your cup is full and you have the space to breathe. Asking for support can look really different for all of us, but know that it’s okay to do so. 

5) Have fun, damn it! 

Life isn’t meant to be so serious all of the time. We are here to play, to explore, to be lit up and joyful. As you start thinking about putting your own f*cking oxygen mask on, think about what you can do that will feel fun and nourishing for you. 

Go make a list of all of the things you aspire to do and plug these in, bit by bit, into your priorities and schedule. 

Remember, you deserve to be flourishing in all areas of your life. Putting your own f*cking oxygen mask on is setting an example for future generations. I encourage you to share how you are taking action on this! We are stronger together, so let’s cheer each other on! 

Tag @calandra.martin and @mommyrebellion in your IG stories and share with us – what do you do to keep the tiny humans alive and care for yourself FIRST?

She is passionate about helping women cultivate unique businesses that infuse fun and personality into everything they do. She teaches entrepreneurs that growing a business doesn’t have to feel hard, cookie cutter, or forced.

Visit calandramartin.com to learn more and get connected. Follow Calandra on Facebook @calandramartin and Instagram @calandra.martin and subscribe to The Magnetic Boss Podcast on iTunes!