There are two types of parents: those that can sit down and immerse themselves in the imaginary games of their children and those like me who really can’t anymore. Which one are you?
The cry of every small and not so small child everywhere. Will someone please play with me. It has become more of an issue lately as my eldest at 12 is less interested in playing imaginary games as each day goes by. My 4 and 6 year old don’t always get along any more and since they have always grown up with two older sisters to interact with them, they tend not to just play with each other.
But this weekend they are going to have to. My older two are going overnight camping for 2 nights and my hubby and I will be home with just the younger two. And we have things we need to do, it can’t just be a play with me all day kind of weekend.
The parents that can sit down and just immerse themselves in the imaginary games of their children and the parents like me who really can’t anymore. I can sing silly songs, and tell stories and read lots of picture books, but please, please, please don’t ask me to play an imaginary game with me. I’d rather deal with sore losers and sore winners while playing a tabletop game than have to play an imaginary one. I guess my brain needs to have some kind of framework. Some kind of rules. Or maybe I have simply been sleep deprived for so long I am not sure what my brain does like anymore.
Or maybe its the limitlessness of it all. Like I could go on wild tangent games for say half an hour but I can’t do it all day or no one is going to have anything to eat. It just isn’t going to work.
I remember reading Fierce Kingdom which is about the three hours in which a mom and her four year old son are hiding at the local zoo because someone is shooting people. And she will do anything to keep her son quiet. I totally get that. While I have not been in that kind of life or death situation with my kids (thank goodness) I have certainly been on public transportation or an airplane and really wanted my kids to be well behaved and quiet. Waiting rooms and checkout lines come to mind. I have been so tired from a nursling that I have let my other kids watch tv way longer than I should have just so I could take a nap. It feels like negotiating with terrorists sometimes.
Maybe this is like mediating and something I just fail at. I have tried meditation for years, off and on. Pretty much anytime Deepak Chopra and Oprah hold another free 21 day meditation I sign up. I think the longest I have made it is about 8 days in a row. I usually end up falling asleep.
I know the research. I know mediation is supposed to be good for my brain and I really should learn how to do it. I prefer walking in the woods or knitting personally. I find my brain stops it’s constant spinning when I do those things. I have yet to find that saying Om
And I am done with judging myself about it. I haven’t found a form of meditation that works for me. Hell, I am still working on a regular morning walking practice, but I figure every day it happens is better than any day it doesn’t and some days sleep is actually more important.
It is the small everyday steps that matter rather than the big juicy moments. Those matter too but our life is made in the small steps. Deciding to get up in the morning, making sure everyone is fed, making sure to take some time for yourself, even if that means binge watching tv or in my case starting a new craft project before I have finished the last one.
These are the things we do. And this weekend is going to be interesting because my hubby and I have some computer projects we want to get done. And yet our younger two will just have each other to play with. I wonder if the neighbor kids will come and play? I am not sure who they like to play with the most, so not having the older kids might matter.
Only time will tell.
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