Early Risers and Night Owls

A lot of people and by people I am specifically talking about people, anyone from babies to octogenarians, seem to fall into the two camps of early risers and night owls. Or morning people and stay up all night people.

I am not sure where the middle people are. I think I am one of the middle people, because left well enough alone I get up with the sun, which is quite early in the summer and quite late in the winter and am happy to go to bed within an hour or two of sun set. Or in the case of last night I was falling asleep on the couch before the sun had gone to bed, but I think that was because I hadn’t actually gotten any siesta time yesterday, but I digress.

Regardless of whether you are a morning person or a night owl, you inevitably give birth to at least one child who is the opposite of you, especially if your partner is different than you are. Though I hear it can happen spontaneously too.

My first born was very definitely a night owl from the moment she was born. I remember my hubby complaining to my mother in law and her just cackling on the other end of the phone, because he was finally getting his just desserts.

My eldest also wouldn’t sleep all night at least once a month for her first 9 months or so, but again I am digressing back to sleep deprived points of my life.

So we gave up with the idea of putting small people to bed at 6 pm at night, because it never worked with our first daughter and that just sort of set the tone for our parenting. I suppose we could have tried to figure out what worked for each subsequent child, but the pattern was already set and they just kind of evolved into it.

Whoever is the baby doesn’t get sent up to bed around 8 PM to 8:30 PM, but everyone else does. And at this point no one is the baby so they all get sent up to bed. It takes them at least a half hour to sort themselves and settle down, and my hubby and I take a hands off approach and try and get some TV watching in for a few minutes before going to bed ourselves.

This has worked reasonably well for years. Lately my eldest whose biological clock is deep into puberty has been needing to stay up later at night. There is neuroscience behind this need and they have discovered that Melatonin release is a good two ours later in teenagers than it is in adult brains, so it’s not surprising that she may need to stay up later.

I am not a night owl. However from about the time I was 11 or so until shortly after my 18th birthday I was. And since I was homeschooled I would literally be doing my math or Latin or physics at 1 or 2 in the morning and then go to bed around 3. I would then sleep until noon and then get up again. My parents were pretty accommodating and I got a lot of alone time, which I needed during that development of growth. There also wasn’t social media back then and not much beyond email so I couldn’t get into a lot of trouble. I didn’t have a computer or a TV in my room so I was left with a radio which had to be kept low and my books. It worked for me.

The upshot of my kids going to bed a little while later than maybe other people’s kids (I was going to use the word average, but I actually don’t think any of us really know what average is in this department) and we homeschool, I get at least an hour in the morning (depending entirely on how soon I drag myself out of bed) and sometimes two or three alone. Which is the only way I stay sane some days.

If it is an overcast or rainy morning I get even more alone time as their rooms stay darker longer, regardless of any black out curtains they may or may not have.

My hubby is still a night owl. But he has learned to get up early in the morning and go to works o that he can get his work done and have more of his “best” time at home with the family. It is possible that as more of the girls move into more of a night owl routine themselves he may adjust his work schedule slightly so he can stay up with them more at night and have more bonding time. We will just have to wait and see.

In the meantime I try and let my girls keep their own hours for waking and sleeping, generally trying to insist they be in their rooms after dark until it gets light again. There is always much grumbling about having to get up early in the morning on the rare (usually less than once a week) occasions that happens. At some point I think we will set up a corner in our sun room for children who are having trouble sleeping or have later biological clocks than the rest of us. Short of setting up a room in the basement that’s the best I am going to be able to do right now.

Do your kids keep the same sleep schedule as you do? I think that might actually drive me crazy if they did, as I get the most tired when my kids get up with me and go to bed with me and I have no time to myself that is predictable and I know is coming.