Baby Talk

Do you have baby talk appear randomly in your house?

 When this happens at my house it tells me that they are in need of some extra attention. That something is going on and they feel the need to regress at least for a few minutes.

Do you have baby talk appear randomly in your house?

I mean it’s super cute and exciting when it is your actual baby doing it. The joy the first time they say dada or mama is unparallelled.

But by the time you have 12, 10, 7 and 5 year old, I really don’t want to hear baby talk.

Unless they are talking to one of the animals.

I suppose when they are talking to their stuffed animals or playing a game, it’s tolerable.

At least a little bit.

But when they are talking to me and asking for something, it is just, well, super annoying and irritating.

Yes it tells me that they are either wheedling or in need of some extra attention. That something is going on and they feel the need to regress at least for a few minutes.

But at the same token it just really pushes my buttons. It gets to sitting on my last nerve even faster than just regular whiny behavior. Or just general complaints. It is just so annoying!

Especially because more often than not, the baby talk arrives on days when I am doing something else. Days when I have a lot on my plate, when perhaps another sister is in need of more attention because well when it rains it pours right?

And then out pops the baby talk. I try and wait and see first, see if it is part of a game, or really a way for them to state their needs for extra attention and love. I try to take a deep breath or 3 to make sure that I am calm before responding, because I know it is going to hit my trigger points. I try to listen beyond the words and hear what other clues they are trying to tell me.

Maybe they are going through a growth spurt and are truly hungry and for some reason this is how they are going to ask for more food today?

Maybe they are still recovering from being sick the week before and just like me their brain isn’t firing on all cylinders yet and they truly are not running at 100%?

Maybe they had a bad social interaction a few minutes or days ago and this is how it is coming out?

Maybe they don’t have the skills yet to have things come out better, the words, the tools, the self awareness to know what they truly need?

Maybe they just need another cuddle. Lately I have found that all of my girls have really upped their cuddle needs and that they need far more cuddles than usual. I am unsure if this is because it is winter and they are just running cold or if it truly is just a time in their life where they need more cuddling.

Touch is not my dominate love language so when a lot of them need a lot of touch all at once by the end of the day I don’t want any one else to touch me. Especially if there has been a lot of squirming in all that touching. Sometimes I think I wear all this extra padding on my body because of all the squirming I am on the receiving end of and my body is just trying to protect itself from the inevitability of all these girls and their elbows. Of course that may be wishful thinking as well.

I don’t have the answers. I don’t know why baby talk shows up, and why it seems to go straight to a nerve point for me. I have a bit more tolerance for it than my hubby, who can’t even stand hearing it if it is part of a game, and I try to let that go at least for a little while.

But I do know that often it just needs a liberal helping of cuddles. Maybe some read aloud time and snuggling too. Occasionally just going outside really helps.

What about you? What do you do when baby talk shows up in your house?

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Valentine’s Day

So here we are. It’s February and that lovely day is happening on the 14th.

For me personally I try to avoid the day completely but I do like practices of gratitude it can provide.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?

I think maybe this is just another holiday for mom’s to compare themselves over. Like who sent the most perfect “handmade” valentine’s to school this year? Who made the best cupcakes/chocolate etc.

I actually try to avoid valentine’s day on social media because it is one of those gag worthy who has the better spouse kind of day. Almost like mother’s day because rarely is it children that are the driving force behind how you get treated that day.

For me personally I try to avoid the day completely. My kid’s don’t go to school and it’s not a big day for me and my hubby, as we try to make time for each other multiple times during the year, when we can’t manage to get weekly dates in (which only happen because we have a 12 year old who will babysit during the day and because we are usually running errands on said date).

This year I am thinking about sending a love note to each of my business clients as a thank you for letting me support them. That seems like a fun Valentine thing to do that is completely platonic and not at all really wrapped up in the commercialism of the day.

I suppose I should ask my kids if they want to do something for V day, before the day arrives and they ask me what we are doing and I’m like maybe heart shaped pancakes?

Because I need another holiday surrounded by sugar like I need extra holes in my head. And I get the archaeological reason behind holidays and sugar, and it means we actually survived the winter, but these days we have way too much sugar and I see my daughter’s acne blow up every time we have a sugar filled party.

So no, I don’t want to do that. But I do like practices of gratitude. Hence the idea of sending Valentines to my clients. To express my gratitude. I like to encourage that in my kids too. I am just not sure that Valentine’s is really the best way to do that.

My girls were at my friend’s house a few weeks ago and they were all making Valentine’s and hiding them throughout the house (I think the hiding had a lot to do with the game). My 7 year old made one for the 7 year old boy and said she loved him…. and embarrassment ensured when he read it aloud to the whole group of kids. At this age I know her “I love you” has to do with the fact that they are good friends who play together about once a week and he is almost like a brother to her. But she also knows enough to be worried about everyone else’s reaction when he read it aloud.

Sigh.

I wish her innocence could have lasted longer. You know like the belief in the tooth fairy.

So here we are. It’s February and that lovely day is happening on the 14th.  I am doing a big workshop that I have never done before so I guess some good is happening that day. But I could really do without the Hallmark drippy-ness. And all the candy in the stores. It seems like it has been going constantly since Halloween, candy, candy everywhere.

I haven’t even followed any of the links as to why conversation hearts aren’t available this year. I never liked them anyway.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.