Seasons Change

Whether we want them to or not and so do our kids. Sometimes it seems like the difficult stage they are in lasts for millennia because once they morph into an easier stage we don’t tend to notice it has even happened. We are too busy either dealing with another kid in a similar difficult stage, or the ease of this new stage is just enjoyed without our really noticing it and then the next thing we know, we are back there again, back to another slightly newer difficult stage.

Most of these difficult stages are actually transition phases between one part of development and the next. What is funny (not really) is that this continues into our adulthood, but can at times be harder to see.

My business coach has to keep reminding me that moving to a new house is like having a baby, it takes time after you have moved in to really get your roots down. I keep thinking I should know this because this is not my first move, this is my fourth move in Maine and I have moved many, many times before. But yet each
time it brings up new things, even if you are moving the same stuff. Even if you have moved before, moved with the same kids/family before it always brings up stuff, well after the move. Even if you think you are done processing, the rest of your family may not be.

So these difficult stages keep happening to us, even as adults. Sometimes they seem random and unfair, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the need to start a new job in a new city. It is like stages of grief, you never really know when they are going to hit you again, even though you feel like gone through it before.

But some of them are a bit more predictable. The birth of a new baby, getting married, getting divorced, these are obvious periods of transition and with them growth.

Less obvious ones include the time after those things, the periods after you have the big date, the big vacation you have waited forever for, when you are making a career change, starting a new major change in your lifestyle, getting a new pet or losing one. These are all periods of transition that we tend to ignore
or not realize they have as much of an impact as they do.

Perhaps that is where the 20/20 hindsight comes from?

Autumn has arrived here in Maine, today it is not getting above 50 degrees and it is still September. However in two more days it will be 70 again, classic New England fall transition. Because of this and having just moved and getting ready to publish this book, and do a lot of visibility and community growth as part of preparing for the launch of this book, I feel like I am in one of those icky transition periods.

My body feels different to me, and I am fighting the need to exercise and sleep and rest with equal measure. My emotions are a bit all over the show and I am finding it easy to snap at people (though most of it is staying in my head and not coming out of my mouth).

There is the inevitable need to prepare for winter. To work on our property and prepare for upcoming snow falls that will happen all to soon. To build a shed to be able to store the tools over winter and to actually want to be outside exploring and enjoying the fall weather before we have to bundle up our bodies to stay warm.

There is also the drawing in. Most of my Christmas shopping is done except for the Santa requested gifts. There are knit along and quilt-a-longs I want to take part of as we spend more time inside and less time outside. There is the need to gather food and supplies and books in case we get snowed in. Even though we
probably will not, there is the biological drive to do this this time of year.

All this while feeling icky. While upholding new boundaries around my work, while becoming more visible in my business.

Transition periods suck. I don’t think they get any less sucky the older we get. I think we begin to learn that this is part of the rhythms of life, the ebb and flow but I don’t think it gets any easier to go through because each time it is different. Each time it is less fun. But necessary. It will happen and if you fight against it, it will just take longer. Like a toddler’s tantrum or a preteen waiting for everyone to leave before she decides to talk to you.

I just want to get more sleep. Or knit and sew or just have the world leave me alone. But that’s not what is happening quite yet. I try to carve out time each day for those things to happen. But Monday mornings can be hard as my kids transition back into not interrupting me every five minutes in the morning.