This year I’ve entered a new phase of parenting, often known as the “empty nest.” I’m here to report back on how it feels so far.

Truthfully, it’s a mixed bag. I’m incredibly proud of these two wonderful beings who have graced our lives – and more than a bit heartbroken that they no longer need me in the same ways they once did.

Teacher and author Elizabeth Stone wrote, “making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” For me, this statement has become even more relevant since my two kids have become adults and moved out on their own.

In my daughter’s case, she’s now living more than 2,000 miles away from home. That’s so far!

My son lives 30 minutes away, and we see him at least weekly – but it’s still very different.

I miss them both like crazy.

At the same time, I cherish my newfound freedom, an abundance of time, and even the financial relief of no longer supporting them. My home stays cleaner, too. Go figure!

When you’re in the thick of parenting young kids, you often feel like a break, some time away from their intense needs would be delightful. You might fantasize about taking a solo vacation, a romantic getaway with your partner, or even a trip to a work-related conference. You may even get the opportunity to take these sacred reset breaks at times.

You might not imagine ever missing your kids once you don’t see them every day.

Or maybe you can’t picture not being with them all the time, and feel like you won’t know what on Earth to do with yourself once they move out.

Neither of these tells the whole story.

My tentative foray into being an empty nester, or as a friend calls it, a “free bird,” has shown me that, like most things in life, there are ups and downs.

I love visiting with my adult kids, whether in person or online, and catching up on their daily lives. I enjoy being more in charge of my own time than I’ve been for many years.

I miss their impromptu hugs and even the once-dreaded question, “what’s for dinner, Mom?”

I’m thankful that they do still need me, whether for advice on “adulting,” a pep talk, or an extra hug or two. I was profoundly moved when my daughter broke down into tears at the end of her summer visit here. She loves her new life out west but was still finding it hard to leave after two fun-filled weeks with us at her childhood home.

Just in case you haven’t figured it out yet, you’ll always be a parent, even when the active phase of caring for their daily needs is finished. Your heart will always be with them, out there exploring the world with these blessings you helped to create.

Nikki Starcat Shields is Mom to two grown unschoolers, a published author, a book midwife, and a licensed priestess. She blogs at Starcat’s Corner. Do you have a book idea that’s yearning to be shared with the world? Check out Starcat’s free “Get That Book Out of Your Head” virtual week.