The Catalyst Moment that Helped Me Quit my Job to Start Anew

by | Jan 24, 2019 | Mental Health, Parenting, Self-Care, Truth-Telling, working

 Megan Day, MSc, CLC, and founder of Rooted & Vibrant, shares her journey of how she made the decision to resign from her 10 year career in healthcare to start her own business and explore her calling.

The moment that I decided I would help people was when I realized I had finally learned to help myself.

My second daughter was a challenging baby, she had colic for the first 5 months and screamed every night until 11pm, at which time she crashed from exhaustion and slept beside me, nursing every few hours. I ended up going through a bout of postpartum depression a few months later.

I am typically a very sociable person. I took my first daughter to many, many mom and baby programs and I had made a few close mommy friends. With my second daughter, when I was going through postpartum depression, I found myself avoiding people. Some days I didn’t have the energy for small talk. I was burnt out from taking care of a baby and a toddler. I didn’t have much else to give. On top of that, I was hiding my pain and struggle from those close to me, other than my poor husband who took the brunt of my troubles. I didn’t want them to think I was weak or a bad mom. I can honestly say it was the toughest year of my life.

The end of my maternity leave was coming near and I had a decision to make about my career. I felt stuck and I felt ashamed for not being grateful for my career BUT that year had changed me and I knew that I had to do things differently going forward if I wanted to continue to stay well and live a happier life. I was terrified of going back to that dark place. I didn’t want to be a miserable person, wife or mom. I learned that I was the only one that could make those changes, no one else could do it for me.

I didn’t let the strong pull of my familiar job get in the way of me rising to my dreams. I had worked 10 years in healthcare as a genetic counselor. I was good at my job and at one time it had defined me. You see, people were always impressed by my job title. Genetic counselors are studious and smart, two traits that I really wanted people to think I had. On top of that, I was sure that my colleagues would think I was insane to quit. I wasn’t insane, but I had changed. I had had a wake up call, an awakening and I’m so grateful for it.

Postpartum depression had me crying in the kitchen while my husband and kids were laughing and playing in the next room. Feelings of overwhelm and sometimes outbursts of downright rage would take hold of me. I wasn’t risking going back to that.

I had gotten therapy but knew that this was my chance to set up my life differently and make my wellness a priority. So I worked with a coach myself and I quit my full time job.

I used savings to get my coaching certification, I learned meditation and I coached my own practice clients during my daughter’s naps and in the evenings. Slowly, slowly, I worked at it, all while trying to hold myself and my family as a priority. I’ve met a network of female entrepreneurs around me in my first year of business who are inspiring and authentic.

Not every day is perfect but I am stronger than ever. You might say, I rose out of the ashes like a Phoenix. (I love that visual!).

What I believe about my work above all is: that it is important. Let me elaborate. I believe that many moms are not living out their true potential because they are afraid to fail, afraid to look like a weirdo, afraid that they are not good enough, afraid that they are unworthy, don’t think they have any options, and on and on. I was one of these moms.

This coaching thing is important. It unlocks the potential in women who may have otherwise continued to play small. It supports women to make choices that honour their own values and needs. The world needs more of these women stepping up in a powerful way and running the show!

When people ask me what I do I say “I’m a coach who works with moms”. This does NOT do it justice. If you get to the heart of what I really do and why, you’ll find that much of what I do is draw out the genius in others. The moms that I work with are already “successful” by most traditional definitions of the word but they don’t feel it. They are stuck between their dedication to their kids and their ambition to accomplish the dream they have in their soul. I see them and I see their potential. I uncover that dream and lovingly nudge them to discover their power to execute it.

My journey to this place has been painful and challenging at times. My daughters, husband and close family and friends have supported me along the way and have dotted my path with moments of joy. Everyday I have to continue to make choices that will keep me strong and sane. I hold tightly to the person that I have become. I honor the person that I used to be and I keep pushing forward because I believe that a healthy mom supports a healthy family and healthy families are the cornerstone of a healthy community. This is how we heal the world ladies, one mom, one family, one community at a time.

Megan Day, MSc, CLC, is a Certified Life Coach, Meditation Instructor and the founder of Rooted & Vibrant. Her mission is to empower women to find their life’s work and to help ambitious moms create fulfilling lives.
In 2017, Megan made the decision to resign from her 10 year career in healthcare to start her own business and explore her calling. She values family, community, connection and adult conversation. She has found her life purpose in helping other moms find theirs.

Intentional New Year’s

by | Jan 8, 2019 | Affirmations, Grounding, Journal Writing, Parenting, Self-Care, Tips and Techniques

Did you get any dreaming time during the holidays?

Did you get any time to process 2018 and think about what you might want to invite into 2019?

So we have made it to the first full week of the New Year. The kids are back in school, we are back to work and our life is suppose to just fall back into normal right?

Well it doesn’t usually feel that way for me. Besides the fact that we homeschool, and my hubby is back at work, the transition from the Winter Holidays into the let’s face it, the often disgusting next few months is a hard one.

We live in Maine, so there is snow coming, and this year we have had snow and cold weather since before Thanksgiving, so I don’t know about you but I am feel the end of February, beginning of March tiredness of winter, and we are still just getting ready for a lot more.

The house feels like it needs another deep cleaning even though I did one before the holidays, now that we have all spent over a week here, it feels like a lot of pick up needs to happen again, AND there are new things to put away and organize from gift giving.

So how do we do all this and not get depressed or feel put upon? How do we even begin to think about New Year’s Resolutions (and in my opinion the top of our lists as mothers should simply be GETTING MORE SLEEP – and to hell with anything else)? I mean are you even on board with packing lunches and resuming all the kid activities?

Did you get any dreaming time during the holidays?

Did you get any time to process 2018 and think about what you might want to invite into 2019?

Nope?

I mean we are mothers right, and unless you designed some time (and maybe even if you did) it didn’t happen and now here it is the 8th of January and what the hell?

So here is my invitation to you. Have your favorite drink. Coffee, tea, water, wine, beer I don’t care, but grab something that tastes good to drink and if you need to go lock yourself in the bathroom to do this I am certainly not one to judge!

But take a few moments to just breathe. Don’t do anything. Don’t rush or think about the next thing. And if you can’t keep your mind from racing then grab pen and paper or the note feature on your phone and just jot down everything going on in your brain until you can let it all go.

Now listen. Can you hear anything? If you are lucky enough to have silence, just soak it in. And if you can hear the kids watching TV in the next room that’s fine too.

Now if there is something you want to bring into 2019 it might make itself known now. And if it doesn’t then let’s just repeat this again tomorrow.

A few minutes alone. It can be in the bathroom or while taking a shower, or hiding in the car or pretending to still be asleep. But try and grab a few minutes every day and see what happens.

I think that’s a big enough resolution for us. What about you?

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

When The Right Decision Makes You Sad

by | Dec 20, 2018 | Parenting, Self-Care, Truth-Telling

Today Carol Burris shares her journey on how she has learned to take time and enjoy this season, without being overwhelmed with your to-do list. 

As I took my predawn walk this morning, it started to flurry. Single, widely spaced snowflakes danced and sparkled in the street lights and I though of the joy and excitement of my granddaughters when the snow starts to fly. Which reminded me that once again I wasn’t there with them to share and bask in their delight. Which led my thought to Christmas, another moment I would miss. Most of the time I’m okay with the distance between us. After all, a few years ago when my husband retired, we cut that distance by more than half. When our children were growing up we lived much further away from their grandparents and only had “bigger than nuclear family” Thanksgivings and/or Christmases a handful of times. So this is my family’s normal, right? Between the distance, the uncertainty of winter weather and overbooked holiday travel times, we have chosen to play it safe and stay home. It’s an expensive time to travel and not something in either of our budgets. To say nothing of the logistics involved – our two elderly dogs who can’t be boarded, a husband who doesn’t like to leave the house empty especially in the winter, their four girls, two cats, three piglets and 25 – I think – ducks. No easy answers here. For us, it is the right decision. But this morning, just for a little while, I found myself longing for the situation to be different. I know I have thought about it more in the last several years because of the community in which I live. Here, high school homecoming is a Big Deal and is more for the alumni than for the current students. People grow up here and, if they leave, they eventually come back. At my church, there are two, three and even four generations of families sitting together in the pews every week. My little nuclear family feels so small sometimes. A week or so has passed since I began this piece. Thanksgiving has come and gone, along with two ER visits (one with my son and one following a fall for me) and Christmas is staring me in the face. But at least at this moment, I am at peace with having only phone or Skype calls with the girls on Christmas. Each family is different. Sometimes each year is different. But all of those different choices are valid as long as they work for (most of) the people involved. Nothing ever says this is how it must always be. I hope you take time and enjoy this season, without being overwhelmed with your to-do list. I hope you find the right way to celebrate with your family that works for you.

Carol Burris is a wife, mother, grandmother, reader, quilter, knitter, breast cancer survivor, and volunteer. She unschooled two children and continues to unschool herself. She’s managing an impossible schedule with only the shopping almost done and nothing else prepared for Christmas!

 

Seasons Change

by | Oct 23, 2018 | Parenting, Self-Care, Truth-Telling

Seasons change and whether we want it to happen or not so do our kids and ourselves. Transition periods suck. I don’t think they get any less sucky the older we get. I think we begin to learn that this is part of the rhythms of life.

Whether we want them to or not and so do our kids. Sometimes it seems like the difficult stage they are in lasts for millennia because once they morph into an easier stage we don’t tend to notice it has even happened. We are too busy either dealing with another kid in a similar difficult stage, or the ease of this new stage is just enjoyed without our really noticing it and then the next thing we know, we are back there again, back to another slightly newer difficult stage.

Most of these difficult stages are actually transition phases between one part of development and the next. What is funny (not really) is that this continues into our adulthood, but can at times be harder to see.

My business coach has to keep reminding me that moving to a new house is like having a baby, it takes time after you have moved in to really get your roots down. I keep thinking I should know this because this is not my first move, this is my fourth move in Maine and I have moved many, many times before. But yet each
time it brings up new things, even if you are moving the same stuff. Even if you have moved before, moved with the same kids/family before it always brings up stuff, well after the move. Even if you think you are done processing, the rest of your family may not be.

So these difficult stages keep happening to us, even as adults. Sometimes they seem random and unfair, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the need to start a new job in a new city. It is like stages of grief, you never really know when they are going to hit you again, even though you feel like gone through it before.

But some of them are a bit more predictable. The birth of a new baby, getting married, getting divorced, these are obvious periods of transition and with them growth.

Less obvious ones include the time after those things, the periods after you have the big date, the big vacation you have waited forever for, when you are making a career change, starting a new major change in your lifestyle, getting a new pet or losing one. These are all periods of transition that we tend to ignore
or not realize they have as much of an impact as they do.

Perhaps that is where the 20/20 hindsight comes from?

Autumn has arrived here in Maine, today it is not getting above 50 degrees and it is still September. However in two more days it will be 70 again, classic New England fall transition. Because of this and having just moved and getting ready to publish this book, and do a lot of visibility and community growth as part of preparing for the launch of this book, I feel like I am in one of those icky transition periods.

My body feels different to me, and I am fighting the need to exercise and sleep and rest with equal measure. My emotions are a bit all over the show and I am finding it easy to snap at people (though most of it is staying in my head and not coming out of my mouth).

There is the inevitable need to prepare for winter. To work on our property and prepare for upcoming snow falls that will happen all to soon. To build a shed to be able to store the tools over winter and to actually want to be outside exploring and enjoying the fall weather before we have to bundle up our bodies to stay warm.

There is also the drawing in. Most of my Christmas shopping is done except for the Santa requested gifts. There are knit along and quilt-a-longs I want to take part of as we spend more time inside and less time outside. There is the need to gather food and supplies and books in case we get snowed in. Even though we
probably will not, there is the biological drive to do this this time of year.

All this while feeling icky. While upholding new boundaries around my work, while becoming more visible in my business.

Transition periods suck. I don’t think they get any less sucky the older we get. I think we begin to learn that this is part of the rhythms of life, the ebb and flow but I don’t think it gets any easier to go through because each time it is different. Each time it is less fun. But necessary. It will happen and if you fight against it, it will just take longer. Like a toddler’s tantrum or a preteen waiting for everyone to leave before she decides to talk to you.

I just want to get more sleep. Or knit and sew or just have the world leave me alone. But that’s not what is happening quite yet. I try to carve out time each day for those things to happen. But Monday mornings can be hard as my kids transition back into not interrupting me every five minutes in the morning.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

The Most Important Thing To Teach Our Kids

by | Aug 23, 2018 | Parenting, Self-Care

Robyn Wiley talks about what she believes is the most important thing we can teach our kids, to love ourselves! Watch her video to learn more and hear her tips for filling our own needs and how to model it for our kids.

Robyn Wiley is Mama Bear to a beautiful and hilarious 10 year old boy. When she’s not playing outside or watching the latest Pixar film, she can be found Coaching, leading Reiki and personal growth workshops, writing, and having deep conversations with interesting people.

Robyn’s mission in life is to be an amazing parent, live freely and fully from her heart, and help others to do the same!

Among her training and experience, Robyn has completed a B.A. in Philosophy, Reiki Trainings from 2009-2017 to the highest level of Reiki Master of Masters, and Certifications in “Assertiveness Coaching” and Strategic Intervention Coaching,” the latter through the highly reputed Robbins-Madanes Core 100 Program.

From 2014-present she has coached 60+ clients, has designed/led 70+ Personal/Spiritual Development workshops, and has published a Guided Journal called: “My Happy Book: a Guided Journal to Light up your Life.”

Robyn continuously seeks training and experience to support her in being the best person, parent, coach, and teacher she can be!

To learn more about Robyn and her work, please visit her website at:
www.robyntwiley.com or visit her FB and IG pages: @robyntwiley

Crafting for Sanity

by | Aug 21, 2018 | Grounding, Parenting, Self-Care

I don’t know how you stay sane with your kids, but this is one of my ways….

I love to craft. It’s not something everyone does or understands, just like from the outside most people think that having four children is a handful. I think they call the terms maker these days, I like to make things with my hands for the pure joy of making something. Not just for the feel of making but I usually like the end result as well.

I grew up with makers, at least on the female side of my family, both of my grandmothers were always making some kind of handwork, as well as my mother and sometimes my aunts. I had to spend a lot of time in waiting rooms growing up because my brother was at therapy appointments and in those days before cell phones and tablets and everyone having the internet in their homes there wasn’t as much to do, especially since I didn’t enjoy reading until I was 11 or 12.

So I learned to craft. Starting with cross-stitch and plastic canvas and eventually learning crocheting, knitting, and sewing along the way making my first skirt at 10. This has continued throughout my life, including the 4 years I worked at a fabric store. I love to craft.

These days I am usually found sewing, (either hand or with my machine, we currently have four sewing machines in the house not counting the serger), knitting or crocheting. This remains my happy place and was the first place I had to find again after having kids.

I had to make time to craft again first as I came out of having all my little kids. I am sure I did things in and among having them, but I never really prioritized it. Now I do. There are a couple of things I need to do every day to stay sane, regardless of being a mother, or a wife, these are just basic to my way of seeing, experiencing and processing the world.

One of those things is making something, or rather working on whatever project currently calls me. And just like books I usually have more than one on the go. I am currently in the middle of knitting two sweaters, one is very simple and straightforward and the other one is complicated and so they both serve different needs and parts of my brain and time.

I also have several quilts and other sewing projects in process. Unfortunately, the power plug for my preferred sewing machine got separated from it during the move and I haven’t found it yet so it hasn’t been able to be taken to the shop to get tuned up and have its tension fixed. This is, of course, putting me under some tension and I will need to fix that soon. Being in a new house there are a lot of small sewing projects I want to do, like pot holders, curtains and the like.

I am super lucky that my husband is also a maker. He makes different kind of things like woodworking, brewing beer and painting tiny metal miniatures, but just like me, he needs to do these things to process and experience his world. Which means that we have a respect for each other’s work and are able to come to agreements on budget, and creating time for both of us to meet these needs. While I don’t always understand his craft and he doesn’t always understand mine, I respect that it needs to happen and needs the time and space for it to happen as well.

Crafting with kids can be hard. I don’t just mean crafting around kids, because we won’t talk about how many times my kids have caused me to drop stitches or gotten into what I was working on. Plus my crafts don’t tend to be done in a single sitting so they do have to have a place to exist while they are being worked on. Especially the handwork projects.

I mean that creating the space for kids to start crafting can be hard. I love taking my kids to programs where they get to do arts and crafts and I don’t have to do any of the setup or clean up. I love watching my kids explore their world through learning new things and playing with materials without any preconceived notions or thoughts that it has to be done or look a certain way.

That being said it is hard to have their craft supplies everywhere. It is hard to have to sweep up the glitter, the sequins, the scraps of paper from all over the house. Slime is currently banned from our house because of clean up issues. There was a while where I refused to make homemade play dough because of all the places I kept finding it.

I know it is important to share these things with my kids. And I do try. But it is also important for me to have my own stuff and for them to respect it. I am happy to help you learn how to embroider or do that thing, but please, please stay out of my yarn and fabric.

I mean unless you really, really want to see mom lose her shit in an epic way. You will stay out of my craft stuff. That and my books and you may live to adulthood 😉

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.