We Must Feed Them

by | Oct 2, 2018 | Cooking, Parenting, Truth-Telling

Being a responsible parent always includes feeding my kids but WHY do they put up such a fight?

Children must be fed. It’s part of the job description of being a parent. You must feed and water your kids and make sure they sleep and take them to the doctor and dentist every now and then, and make sure they wear shoes at least in the colder months and these are all part of not being neglectful of your children.

But where is the fucking guidebook? Where is the recipe plan to feed your children? No wonder the food industry has been able to get so many fucking chemicals, high fructose corn syrup and other things down our kid’s throats. Anyone who has ever tried reasoning with a small person over food knows exactly what I am talking about.

I miss nursing. Not actually having someone attached to my nipple, I am so done with that, but the ease of having the perfect food for my child at the perfect temperature, right there ready for them when they were. It was bliss for them and it was so much easier than arguing with a preteen that needs to eat and is just well not eating.

I want my kids to eat good food. We are building a homestead so we can grow better food for them than we can afford to buy in the quantity a family of six needs. This is why we have ducks that lay eggs, bacon seeds growing the brambles and meat birds ready to be harvested in about six weeks. I do this for them! If I didn’t have them I could probably afford to just buy local organic food as it is and not have to grow it all myself. Yes, we would grow some of it because my hubby actually enjoys gardening… me, I feel like it’s just one more thing I need to keep alive most of the time…

But it’s not that simple. For instance, my kids are on a breakfast strike again. It doesn’t matter what I offer them someone isn’t going to want to eat it. You know that I feel that breakfast should be a serve yourself leave me alone and let me drink my coffee and read a book kind of meal right? Like perfect weekend mornings with hubby is when we communally make some yummy food and then eat it on the back porch while drinking our coffee and not necessarily exchanging a word. That’s what breakfast should be.

Not a drama or a tirade, and I am not awake enough to deal with temper tantrums. Please just find something that doesn’t have a lot of sugar in it and eat it! Part of this is coming off of company breakfasts, where I actually bought a shit ton of cheap (and therefore nasty) bread and made toast every morning that they slathered in PB, or had granola with yogurt which is not something I usually stock because my kids could go through a quart of yogurt in a snack, let alone a meal! My budget doesn’t stretch to that. It just doesn’t. Not when most yogurt is devoid of any food like substance left and will give my kids a massive sugar high.

So this morning I thought I would nip the whole issue in the bud. I thought I would go ahead and cut up some of those first Maine apples that we were given from friends yesterday and mix in some duck eggs, and oatmeal and pumpkin spice seasoning because I couldn’t find the straight cinnamon and mix it all up and it would be yummy.

And it sure smelled yummy to me. But my kids rejected any bit that looked like it had touched an egg. Maybe I didn’t mix it well enough, maybe there was not enough water to the oatmeal but I expected those juicy apples to leach out their juices. Maybe I should have cooked it on the stove instead of the microwave because I wanted to get my coffee and breakfast made as well.

I don’t the fuck know.

All I know is that two out of four kids rejected it out of hand and the other two just pickily ate around the eggs. Thank goodness the pigs will eat it. But that’s it. I said I was done helping with breakfast at that point. They could have peanut butter on a spoon, another apple, make themselves a new batch of oatmeal but to please leave me the fuck alone.

Okay, I left the fuck part out of the sentence because I try not to traumatize my kids too early in the morning. And well I guess the smell of coffee had started having an effect.

But oh my goddess they had better come up with a good idea for breakfast tomorrow. Because I am so done with this. I am so tired of this. I think maybe I should make them breakfast the night before when I am fucking tired from getting dinner on the table.

That’s what the Pinterest moms do right? Or they get up super early to make a yummy breakfast for their kids? That’s what you find on Instagram right? Not me when I get up before my kids I am going for a walk with my audiobook, or sneaking up here to get some writing done. I am not making glorious breakfasts unless it is someone’s birthday, a holiday or we are having brunch guests and games. Just not fucking going to happen.

I guess this is how all the boxed cereal companies stay in business.

Pass the fucking milk.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Shopping with Kids

by | Sep 25, 2018 | Parenting

I had forgotten…
forgotten how hard it can be…
to go shopping with kids.

My 4 year old had been acting better when we had been shopping lately. The “I wants” had not been coming out and she had been reasonably patient and helpful during the last few shopping trips.

So I had forgotten…

Forgotten how difficult it can be to go shopping…

With children.

On Tuesday I needed to go to the dollar store to buy some band-aids and other first aid supplies for our Daisy Girl Scout meeting that night. I took all four of my kids because it was the middle of the day and I had promised my 6-year-old that she could pick out the bandaids for her troop because they have some pretty ones at the dollar store.

I also brought everyone because I wanted to stock up on snacks for while we are moving, both to just be able to shove food at the kids and also so they had food to bring with them when they were hanging out at friends houses. Since I am unable to remember who likes what anymore (because I swear they keep changing their minds!) I brought everyone along.

My first warning sign should have been that she wasn’t initially willing to get in the cart. Also, it was super difficult for her to deal with the fact that her sister was going to be looking for a birthday present that we also needed to put together for a friend of ours.

It pretty much went downhill from there. There was a lot of kicking out of her feet which didn’t make me want to push her in the cart. There was a lot of demands about where she wanted to be pushed next, and lots of holding on of things that she also wanted to buy. And it was the dollar store, I was more than willing to buy her a set of bubble makers the shape of popsicles to share with her sisters at the new house.

Of course, it didn’t help that some of her sisters couldn’t really find snacks that they wanted, or took forever to decide. And even though they had eaten lunch, apparently they had gotten hungry again on the 20-minute car ride, or more accurately all the food marketing and packaging was making them hungry and whiny.

We finally checked out and made it out of the store. But we still needed to go to WalMart to buy the rest of our groceries.

Yes, I said it, WalMart, and don’t you go getting all judgy with me. I do my best to shop all local and USA made as I can, but when it comes down to basics of food, there are times where you really do need to stretch your dollar. Believe it or not, but there are also times that in my neighborhood Walmart has the nicer produce, and they sell organic just like the grocery stores do. Also in my neighborhood there currently are not any locally owned grocery stores, so does it matter if I am going to WalMart, Shaws or Hannaford? They are all big box stores.

Also by shopping where I can stretch my dollar, I am able to do more local shopping as well. Just saying that it can, in fact, work both ways!

Anyway by the time we get to Walmart and have a bathroom stop (in the back in the family bathroom because they have the mini toilets that just make my 4 year old so happy) we hit up the craft kit aisle (not in the toy department in the craft department, I am not that crazy) to pick out the final couple of pieces for the birthday gift we are putting together.

Unfortunately, my 4-year-old sees the Paint Your Own ceramic Elsa From Frozen piggy bank. And she wants one. And I can understand why it’s tall, it looks cool and it’s nice and breakable, what more could a 4-year-old want?

The only problem is that 1), I am not shopping for my daughter at the moment and it is way too far out to get her something for her birthday that she knows about and 2) my husband is the only one with the painting skills to make this bank look recognizably like Elsa and 3) we still need to get a craft kit for the person we came into this aisle for.

But we have deeply triggered the “I wants” which currently come out in the “Please, please, please” said over and over again to my consistent “No’s”. I guess I am lucky that she doesn’t try to bargain yet.

We finally make it out of the aisle with what we need and even while I am pushing the cart down to the grocery section she is still asking about it. Or buying her anything really at this point and I am still standing firm in my no. Reminding myself how I usually try and set my children up for success and not failure while shopping and wondering where I went wrong this time around.

We finally make it to check out and I prepare to pay and the register decides to stop working and completely deletes my transaction and the cashier is new and doesn’t seem to understand urgency when it comes to getting the manager to help.

Finally, we check out again with the manager and she is amazing and keeps my girls engaged while she uses the wand to rescan all our items except for the few that need to be weighed, and we finally make it out to the car.

Where my 4 year old no longer wants to get buckled in her carseat. And no amount of cajoling seems to work. And while I try to take a few minutes to help her identify her feelings, in the end, I just sit patiently in the driver’s seat until she finally gives up and gets hooked.

And vow to myself that I am not taking her shopping again for at least another month. Because this was just too hard and I am too tired and old to put up with this shit and frankly who needs to go shopping anyway?

I need to see if any of the CSA’s will still let me sign up and see how much Amazon can deliver to my door because I am done shopping with my kids for a while!

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Trials of Mompreneur Life

by | Sep 18, 2018 | Parenting

Real life of a Mompreneur, all I’m asking for is that my kids can do without me for three hours a day four days a week.

Yesterday I had a conference call with my Virtual Assistant, because not as much would get done around here for the Mommy Rebellion if I did not have a Virtual Assistant.

Luckily Lisa is also a mom, to a 7-year-old son, so she gets it. Her son goes to school so she is able to schedule our calls while he is busy. Me, however, I have kids with me 24/7 most days and my youngest (at not quite 5) has really been pushing the boundaries lately.

As you can see from the photo above, she was literally pushing buttons yesterday, or rather sticking her feet in my face during the end of our conference call.

One the one hand it was great that Lisa was able to snap a photo for me, because it will make for great marketing materials for the Mommy Rebellion (just about every mom can relate to that photo). But on the other hand gosh darn it why can’t she stay out of my room for 30 minutes?

I am going to have to start leaving the house to get my work done. I have tried locking the door and that has lead to her practically breaking it down. And while my husband is okay if she does break the door down and is okay with me keeping it locked, it does get very distracting both for me and the other people on the video call.

I swear it was easier when she was 2. She got to watch tv with her big sisters and I made sure she had a snack and she was all set to go while I was on a call. Nowadays forget it!

So the ultimate solution is for me to just leave. My eldest is old enough to babysit. She’s not going to like it and will get annoyed if it becomes a regular thing. But I am guessing I am only going to have to do it a time or two before my youngest gets the picture and stops being such a pain. Of course, moving to a new town and a more rural one at that I am actually not sure where I can go and have wifi access, which is usually what I need while working. I mean I can do a little, like writing this without wifi access, but I can not do things for my clients without it.

I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to have that big confrontation and just leave. But this interrupting, not letting me get my work done, and all over disrespect of my work time can’t stand either. It’s not fair to me, it’s not fair to my clients and it is not fair to her either, because she needs to learn limits.

Plus we are only talking about 3 hours a day. She can manage to not really need me much for 3 hours a day. She has three other sisters to interact with. Right now she has a grandmother and uncle (which is why I didn’t just leave this morning) to hang out with as well. I spend the rest of the day with her.

I drive her places. We play games, I make sure she has food, I read to her and her sisters. I really think that her needs are being met and that at almost 5 she can do without me for three hours a day four days a week. That’s all I’m asking for.

And I would get so much more done! Not having the constant interruptions would mean that I would get a lot more done at any given time than I do right now because I could just focus and get it done, rather than being torn away and then having to come back and remember where I am and refocus, etc.

You know what I mean right?

Plus while it was funny this time, I really don’t want to conduct meetings with feet in my face. It’s not like they are super cute and yummy newborn feet. These are sweaty, dirty, stinky big girl feet that do not need to be in my face. Ever. Especially not when I am conducting a meeting and trying to get work done.

I don’t want to have that in my vocabulary anymore. I don’t want to say I am trying to get work done. I want to say I am working. I am getting work done. Work is happening. I am pursuing my dreams and supporting my clients and growing Mommy Rebellion. I am writing. I am creating.

I am tired of being held hostage by the interrupting chickens. They created locks on the doors for reasons. I am going to get a treadmill desk in the next year. This is happening. I need to walk and do my work with minimal interruptions, especially during meetings.

She will survive. I will actually want to spend MORE time with her because she won’t have been interrupting me all morning and I will have actually gotten some work DONE instead of having it bleed into time I would normally be spending with her because she used up my work time.

Yep it could all be so much easier.

I better find out where those wifi spots are, eh?

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Why Won’t My Kids Just Go Away?

by | Aug 28, 2018 | Parenting, Truth-Telling

Sometimes I just want a little peace and quiet…

Some days I wish my kids would just go away. Don’t get me wrong I love them and can’t imagine life without them, but honestly some days I wish they would just go away.

I suppose if I sent them to school I might not feel that way, but then the pressure of work would take it’s place, because if your kids are all school age there is no reason for you to not be working outside the home right?

I don’t think it’s because I run a business and do occasionally need to think straight without my interrupting chickens, well interrupting. I remember wishing they would go away and I could get a break sometimes even when I was the one working outside the home, or was the stay at home parent without a business.

Some days they are just too much. They talk too much, demand too much, need to be corrected for abhorrent behavior too much. I can understand why so many of us lean on technology to babysit them because we just want a few minutes of peace.

For me it gets worse when I am tired or sick. My tolerance for the touching and the need to follow the long-winded imaginary story just goes out the window. And it’s difficult. It’ snot their fault that I feel this way, just as it’s really not mine. And my poor hubby gets to take over more of the cooking duties etc because by the time we reach the end of the day, I am done, and just want to curl up into a ball and be left alone, which doesn’t necessarily get his needs met either.

It is not a lot of fun. I do my best not to have too many of these days. Usually one or two a moon cycle I can plan for and just work around. But this week I think I have it a wall. I think it’s partially because we have had a crazy spring, with looking at houses, then buying one and all the ups and downs that brought, and then moving in and wanting to unpack for a party and now I just want to absorb what little summer seems to be left. I think maybe I burned the candle at both ends for a while and now my body is just demanding rest.

I was grateful that my eldest didn’t want to do the library program today because she feels like she is coming down with a cold and didn’t want to spread it to anyone else. Not only was that good forethought for an almost 12 year old but it gave me the excuse to get work done this morning so that I can then just sit and read this afternoon. And I have a good excuse for that. I have about 300 pages of a book to read between now and Thursday morning and it’s already a Tuesday.

Yesterday was a hard day even though I ended up getting a nap. I was hoping today would be better, but last night I had lots of disturbing dreams and got woken up several times by the black cat trying to convince the gray cat to play with her and the gray cat decided to have none of it and just hissed up a storm. Not exactly how I was planning on waking up this morning.

However I do have a late in the day beach date scheduled for tomorrow and the other mom doesn’t care if one of my kids might have a cold. My girls have been missing beach time so hopefully this will help and it should be a shady spot so that should help as well. I am thinking about not sharing it until tomorrow so I don’t get the infinite when do we get to leave questions.

I am just so tired. I just want to curl up on our new to us couch or easy chair and be left alone for a day. I think that would help me feel so much better. Maybe not. But it is all I am itching for. This week is less busy which is good but it also means everything can just catch up with me. And that doesn’t get the laundry or the dishes done.

And it’s not like the girls do it much without me constantly reminding them to do it. Which takes energy in and of itself. But I feel like if I don’t and I just do it all myself they are not learning valuable lessons and I am just going to get really resentful.

That’s my idea anyway. And I’m sticking to it.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

The Most Important Thing To Teach Our Kids

by | Aug 23, 2018 | Parenting, Self-Care

Robyn Wiley talks about what she believes is the most important thing we can teach our kids, to love ourselves! Watch her video to learn more and hear her tips for filling our own needs and how to model it for our kids.

Robyn Wiley is Mama Bear to a beautiful and hilarious 10 year old boy. When she’s not playing outside or watching the latest Pixar film, she can be found Coaching, leading Reiki and personal growth workshops, writing, and having deep conversations with interesting people.

Robyn’s mission in life is to be an amazing parent, live freely and fully from her heart, and help others to do the same!

Among her training and experience, Robyn has completed a B.A. in Philosophy, Reiki Trainings from 2009-2017 to the highest level of Reiki Master of Masters, and Certifications in “Assertiveness Coaching” and Strategic Intervention Coaching,” the latter through the highly reputed Robbins-Madanes Core 100 Program.

From 2014-present she has coached 60+ clients, has designed/led 70+ Personal/Spiritual Development workshops, and has published a Guided Journal called: “My Happy Book: a Guided Journal to Light up your Life.”

Robyn continuously seeks training and experience to support her in being the best person, parent, coach, and teacher she can be!

To learn more about Robyn and her work, please visit her website at:
www.robyntwiley.com or visit her FB and IG pages: @robyntwiley

Crafting for Sanity

by | Aug 21, 2018 | Grounding, Parenting, Self-Care

I don’t know how you stay sane with your kids, but this is one of my ways….

I love to craft. It’s not something everyone does or understands, just like from the outside most people think that having four children is a handful. I think they call the terms maker these days, I like to make things with my hands for the pure joy of making something. Not just for the feel of making but I usually like the end result as well.

I grew up with makers, at least on the female side of my family, both of my grandmothers were always making some kind of handwork, as well as my mother and sometimes my aunts. I had to spend a lot of time in waiting rooms growing up because my brother was at therapy appointments and in those days before cell phones and tablets and everyone having the internet in their homes there wasn’t as much to do, especially since I didn’t enjoy reading until I was 11 or 12.

So I learned to craft. Starting with cross-stitch and plastic canvas and eventually learning crocheting, knitting, and sewing along the way making my first skirt at 10. This has continued throughout my life, including the 4 years I worked at a fabric store. I love to craft.

These days I am usually found sewing, (either hand or with my machine, we currently have four sewing machines in the house not counting the serger), knitting or crocheting. This remains my happy place and was the first place I had to find again after having kids.

I had to make time to craft again first as I came out of having all my little kids. I am sure I did things in and among having them, but I never really prioritized it. Now I do. There are a couple of things I need to do every day to stay sane, regardless of being a mother, or a wife, these are just basic to my way of seeing, experiencing and processing the world.

One of those things is making something, or rather working on whatever project currently calls me. And just like books I usually have more than one on the go. I am currently in the middle of knitting two sweaters, one is very simple and straightforward and the other one is complicated and so they both serve different needs and parts of my brain and time.

I also have several quilts and other sewing projects in process. Unfortunately, the power plug for my preferred sewing machine got separated from it during the move and I haven’t found it yet so it hasn’t been able to be taken to the shop to get tuned up and have its tension fixed. This is, of course, putting me under some tension and I will need to fix that soon. Being in a new house there are a lot of small sewing projects I want to do, like pot holders, curtains and the like.

I am super lucky that my husband is also a maker. He makes different kind of things like woodworking, brewing beer and painting tiny metal miniatures, but just like me, he needs to do these things to process and experience his world. Which means that we have a respect for each other’s work and are able to come to agreements on budget, and creating time for both of us to meet these needs. While I don’t always understand his craft and he doesn’t always understand mine, I respect that it needs to happen and needs the time and space for it to happen as well.

Crafting with kids can be hard. I don’t just mean crafting around kids, because we won’t talk about how many times my kids have caused me to drop stitches or gotten into what I was working on. Plus my crafts don’t tend to be done in a single sitting so they do have to have a place to exist while they are being worked on. Especially the handwork projects.

I mean that creating the space for kids to start crafting can be hard. I love taking my kids to programs where they get to do arts and crafts and I don’t have to do any of the setup or clean up. I love watching my kids explore their world through learning new things and playing with materials without any preconceived notions or thoughts that it has to be done or look a certain way.

That being said it is hard to have their craft supplies everywhere. It is hard to have to sweep up the glitter, the sequins, the scraps of paper from all over the house. Slime is currently banned from our house because of clean up issues. There was a while where I refused to make homemade play dough because of all the places I kept finding it.

I know it is important to share these things with my kids. And I do try. But it is also important for me to have my own stuff and for them to respect it. I am happy to help you learn how to embroider or do that thing, but please, please stay out of my yarn and fabric.

I mean unless you really, really want to see mom lose her shit in an epic way. You will stay out of my craft stuff. That and my books and you may live to adulthood 😉

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.