Crafting for Sanity

by | Aug 21, 2018 | Grounding, Parenting, Self-Care

I don’t know how you stay sane with your kids, but this is one of my ways….

I love to craft. It’s not something everyone does or understands, just like from the outside most people think that having four children is a handful. I think they call the terms maker these days, I like to make things with my hands for the pure joy of making something. Not just for the feel of making but I usually like the end result as well.

I grew up with makers, at least on the female side of my family, both of my grandmothers were always making some kind of handwork, as well as my mother and sometimes my aunts. I had to spend a lot of time in waiting rooms growing up because my brother was at therapy appointments and in those days before cell phones and tablets and everyone having the internet in their homes there wasn’t as much to do, especially since I didn’t enjoy reading until I was 11 or 12.

So I learned to craft. Starting with cross-stitch and plastic canvas and eventually learning crocheting, knitting, and sewing along the way making my first skirt at 10. This has continued throughout my life, including the 4 years I worked at a fabric store. I love to craft.

These days I am usually found sewing, (either hand or with my machine, we currently have four sewing machines in the house not counting the serger), knitting or crocheting. This remains my happy place and was the first place I had to find again after having kids.

I had to make time to craft again first as I came out of having all my little kids. I am sure I did things in and among having them, but I never really prioritized it. Now I do. There are a couple of things I need to do every day to stay sane, regardless of being a mother, or a wife, these are just basic to my way of seeing, experiencing and processing the world.

One of those things is making something, or rather working on whatever project currently calls me. And just like books I usually have more than one on the go. I am currently in the middle of knitting two sweaters, one is very simple and straightforward and the other one is complicated and so they both serve different needs and parts of my brain and time.

I also have several quilts and other sewing projects in process. Unfortunately, the power plug for my preferred sewing machine got separated from it during the move and I haven’t found it yet so it hasn’t been able to be taken to the shop to get tuned up and have its tension fixed. This is, of course, putting me under some tension and I will need to fix that soon. Being in a new house there are a lot of small sewing projects I want to do, like pot holders, curtains and the like.

I am super lucky that my husband is also a maker. He makes different kind of things like woodworking, brewing beer and painting tiny metal miniatures, but just like me, he needs to do these things to process and experience his world. Which means that we have a respect for each other’s work and are able to come to agreements on budget, and creating time for both of us to meet these needs. While I don’t always understand his craft and he doesn’t always understand mine, I respect that it needs to happen and needs the time and space for it to happen as well.

Crafting with kids can be hard. I don’t just mean crafting around kids, because we won’t talk about how many times my kids have caused me to drop stitches or gotten into what I was working on. Plus my crafts don’t tend to be done in a single sitting so they do have to have a place to exist while they are being worked on. Especially the handwork projects.

I mean that creating the space for kids to start crafting can be hard. I love taking my kids to programs where they get to do arts and crafts and I don’t have to do any of the setup or clean up. I love watching my kids explore their world through learning new things and playing with materials without any preconceived notions or thoughts that it has to be done or look a certain way.

That being said it is hard to have their craft supplies everywhere. It is hard to have to sweep up the glitter, the sequins, the scraps of paper from all over the house. Slime is currently banned from our house because of clean up issues. There was a while where I refused to make homemade play dough because of all the places I kept finding it.

I know it is important to share these things with my kids. And I do try. But it is also important for me to have my own stuff and for them to respect it. I am happy to help you learn how to embroider or do that thing, but please, please stay out of my yarn and fabric.

I mean unless you really, really want to see mom lose her shit in an epic way. You will stay out of my craft stuff. That and my books and you may live to adulthood 😉

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Misty Mornings

by | Aug 14, 2018 | Parenting, Truth-Telling

How does the weather affect your kids? Do you like Misty Mornings?

I like the misty mornings.

The way the fog is starting to cling in the fields behind our property. The way it is darker in the mornings so my kids are less interested in waking up early.

I like how puffy our long haired cat is getting out in the humidity that clings to everything. I like how bouncy my only really curly haired child gets in this weather.

I don’t care for the boob sweat. For feeling like sweat just clings to me and doesn’t go away. I don’t care for the fact that I still haven’t set up a light in my office yet, I really do need to get on that soon.

I prefer the mist and fog to burn off by 10 am so my kids will have plenty of time to go outside and play. That it isn’t always a rainy day. We need rain so having it sometimes be a rainy day is good, but a constant string of days soon gets tiring on my ears and my kids ability to speak nicely to each other.

It is still pretty warm, just misty and the air is heavy rather than it being cold and miserable or just plain hot. Perfect cup of tea and a good book or an audiobook and something to knit or sew weather. Not good hanging the clothes outside weather. Not that we have hung a clothes line yet anyway. Soon we will get there soon, or do it next spring one or the other.

This should be a quiet week, there are are only two events outside the house for library programs. We may go camping with friends overnight Saturday providing we can find someone willing to put our ducks to bed and let them out again in the morning. If the weather gets better I might set up some play dates. Or I might not. Having a quiet week at home can feel good too.

I am still working on unpacking and organizing, just not at the feverish pace of before. And in chunks rather than trying to get a whole room done in a day. Now it’s about maintaining and reminding the kids that they still have to sweep and put away dishes and clothes and all that fun stuff. That bathrooms still need to be cleaned regularly and maybe I will get one of them to run the vacuum later today. It certainly needs it.

I haven’t gotten all the laundry picked up and put away in the adult bedroom yet. Why is it that, that always seems to be the last place to get cleaned up? Part of the issue is that my hubby got gifted some clothes a while back and now he has more than he currently needs right now, but will need later as things wear out. But figuring out what to do with them in the meantime can be difficult. However I got a lot of it started and picked up yesterday.

I am going easier on myself this week. Not pushing so hard. Taking breaks and time to sit with cats, read my book or play games on my tablet while listening to an audio book. I need to start moving the plants out of the sun room and into other parts of the house so they can do their job of cleaning the air.

I need to find my sewing machine cord. I need to plug the printer in so I can print the update to my sweater I am knitting instructions. I need to be able to occasionally watch a video without all my kids showing up and talking over the instructor.

I need to go on a date with my hubby. I think he is organizing it this time around. Something about seeing a friend of his in a musical. Not his usual cup of tea but if he is offering to take me to a live musical I am there in a dress and a grin. We don’t have enough time or money to go to all the theater we have the ability to take part in here in Maine. It’s just not possible.

I need a few sleep in days, a few days to just be. Not sure when I am going to get those as right now I need to write and get some of my work done before my kids wake up and have all their needs. One is already up and lying on my office floor. It is officially only ten minutes after 7. Which I know for some families is late and for others, like mine, it is early.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Why Can’t the Kids Clean Up?

by | Aug 7, 2018 | Parenting, Truth-Telling

Is it just an American thing? Or is there some secret I don’t know about to get kids to be well, neat?

Why don’t kids help clean up? Is this just an American thing? Because I know that my friend who son is half German that she has shown pictures of him neatly lining everything up, even his shoes under his bed. So some kids must want to live in a clean house where they put their toys away right?

Not any of my kids though. Not if they are left to their own devices. I know I have watched, I have purposely not cleaned up after them or put away all their detritus and it has just stayed there for as long as I can stand it, weeks, months or until they have completely forgotten that the thing even existed.

My eldest is currently sharing a room with my youngest and there is about a 7 ½ years age difference. For personality and need to snuggle at night, they are perfectly matched, but of course their skills at being able to put things away are not at all matched.

We have just moved. We are having an open house in a couple of days. So every afternoon I have been after I am done working and shuttling kids to their activities I have been organizing and cleaning up one room. Putting things away, dusting, making sure it looks like a room we would like our friends to visit. The artwork and photographs haven’t gotten hung yet (mainly because I haven’t found our hangers) but otherwise, it is all good. All that is left is the kitchen at this point and the outside and I have a friend coming to help me with the kitchen tonight.

My kids are done with me and the cleaning/unpacking/organizing though. They complain bitterly that I am doing it and not doing whatever it is they want me to do. They complain when I ask them to take more things upstairs, or down to the basement or get me the broom etc.

They do however love the room when it’s finished and talk about how pretty it is and how much better it looks. They then proceed to play in said room and not pick up after themselves.

And I wouldn’t mind if they took the reminders to clean up well. I get it, it’s not a lot of fun to put your stuff away. It is even less fun when you have to put someone else’s stuff away! Believe me!

Some days I am just too tired. Like I literally have nothing left, no energy to do any sewing or knitting, or mending, absolutely nothing left and it’s hard to pick up after my own self let alone them. But most of the time I do pick up after me.

I wish I had a magic wand that would help convince them to pick up and put their stuff away. To put all the ingredients back in the fridge when they are done constructing their sandwich. To put all there dishes in the sink or dishwasher and put the serving dishes away too.

Some of my daughters have gotten really good at walking all the way downstairs at night to put their laundry down the shoot into the basement. Other of my girls leave their laundry in the upstairs bathroom for days…

Once we get caught up on the laundry backlog they are going to get to start washing their own laundry, because maybe that will stop them from constantly losing their laundry in the process as well. And maybe it will feel more fair all the way around.

But we have to get caught up on that laundry monster and with the party coming, it is going to get to wait until after the party before I have the big push to clean all the clothes and get them sorted and put away. We will just have to wait and see.

Are you one of those lucky moms whose kids naturally pick up after themselves? If you are can you share your secret recipe or magic wand? Is there a special vitamin I need to feed them? Is there a possibility that someday they might clean up after themselves?

Or are they doomed to be gross roommates in the future? I know they say creative people tend to live in chaos, but I can never tell if that’s just because their brains got used to it or if they really are happier that way. I think I am happiest with a maid. We aren’t quite at the point where we want to pay for one yet. But maybe I should look into one. They at least don’t complain.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

There is a Cat

by | Jul 31, 2018 | Parenting, working

This Cat of ours…

There is a cat

Sitting on my lap

And she’s just as distracting

as a child

She is purr-y

And fuzzy

and oh so love-y

But she is just as good

as my daughters of

keeping me from working

as far as she is concerned

I should just be petting her

over and over and over again

stroking her fur

scratching her head

She pushes my fingers and hands

away from typing on the keyboard

But unlike my girls

She doesn’t want to play

She simply wants to be

worshiped

Because that is her way

and the way of most

Cats

This one seems to like me best

And all I did to deserve this

Attention

was ignore her when she first

moved in

I let my hubby and the girls

Love all over her

While I continued with my life

and getting things

Done

And now I am her favorite one

To ask to love her

I rarely seek her out

Other than to make sure she is

In fact in the house

Before we leave or night falls

But most of the time

It is she who comes

To find me

To lie on the floor

While I am working

To steal sips of my

Coffee

To cuddle up with me

For naps or bedtime

(Especially if it’s really hot)

She doesn’t seem to mind

The girls, this second hand

Cat of ours

She shows up when they cry

and she sleeps on their bed

She bosses them around

To make sure she’s fed

She loves on my hubby

And climbs in his lap at night

For snuggles and rubs

and to crawl under his blanket

On the extra chilly nights

But she seems to follow me around the most

Hanging out

Keeping away the ghosts

And just keeping me company

Day in and day out

Which most of the time is

silent

And only needs a few pets

And isn’t the demanding,

hungry

whiny

love of my girls

instead.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Early Risers and Night Owls

by | Jul 24, 2018 | Parenting, Tips and Techniques

Regardless of whether you are a morning person or a night owl, you inevitably give birth to at least one child who is the opposite of you, especially if your partner is different than you are.

A lot of people and by people I am specifically talking about people, anyone from babies to octogenarians, seem to fall into the two camps of early risers and night owls. Or morning people and stay up all night people.

I am not sure where the middle people are. I think I am one of the middle people, because left well enough alone I get up with the sun, which is quite early in the summer and quite late in the winter and am happy to go to bed within an hour or two of sun set. Or in the case of last night I was falling asleep on the couch before the sun had gone to bed, but I think that was because I hadn’t actually gotten any siesta time yesterday, but I digress.

Regardless of whether you are a morning person or a night owl, you inevitably give birth to at least one child who is the opposite of you, especially if your partner is different than you are. Though I hear it can happen spontaneously too.

My first born was very definitely a night owl from the moment she was born. I remember my hubby complaining to my mother in law and her just cackling on the other end of the phone, because he was finally getting his just desserts.

My eldest also wouldn’t sleep all night at least once a month for her first 9 months or so, but again I am digressing back to sleep deprived points of my life.

So we gave up with the idea of putting small people to bed at 6 pm at night, because it never worked with our first daughter and that just sort of set the tone for our parenting. I suppose we could have tried to figure out what worked for each subsequent child, but the pattern was already set and they just kind of evolved into it.

Whoever is the baby doesn’t get sent up to bed around 8 PM to 8:30 PM, but everyone else does. And at this point no one is the baby so they all get sent up to bed. It takes them at least a half hour to sort themselves and settle down, and my hubby and I take a hands off approach and try and get some TV watching in for a few minutes before going to bed ourselves.

This has worked reasonably well for years. Lately my eldest whose biological clock is deep into puberty has been needing to stay up later at night. There is neuroscience behind this need and they have discovered that Melatonin release is a good two ours later in teenagers than it is in adult brains, so it’s not surprising that she may need to stay up later.

I am not a night owl. However from about the time I was 11 or so until shortly after my 18th birthday I was. And since I was homeschooled I would literally be doing my math or Latin or physics at 1 or 2 in the morning and then go to bed around 3. I would then sleep until noon and then get up again. My parents were pretty accommodating and I got a lot of alone time, which I needed during that development of growth. There also wasn’t social media back then and not much beyond email so I couldn’t get into a lot of trouble. I didn’t have a computer or a TV in my room so I was left with a radio which had to be kept low and my books. It worked for me.

The upshot of my kids going to bed a little while later than maybe other people’s kids (I was going to use the word average, but I actually don’t think any of us really know what average is in this department) and we homeschool, I get at least an hour in the morning (depending entirely on how soon I drag myself out of bed) and sometimes two or three alone. Which is the only way I stay sane some days.

If it is an overcast or rainy morning I get even more alone time as their rooms stay darker longer, regardless of any black out curtains they may or may not have.

My hubby is still a night owl. But he has learned to get up early in the morning and go to works o that he can get his work done and have more of his “best” time at home with the family. It is possible that as more of the girls move into more of a night owl routine themselves he may adjust his work schedule slightly so he can stay up with them more at night and have more bonding time. We will just have to wait and see.

In the meantime I try and let my girls keep their own hours for waking and sleeping, generally trying to insist they be in their rooms after dark until it gets light again. There is always much grumbling about having to get up early in the morning on the rare (usually less than once a week) occasions that happens. At some point I think we will set up a corner in our sun room for children who are having trouble sleeping or have later biological clocks than the rest of us. Short of setting up a room in the basement that’s the best I am going to be able to do right now.

Do your kids keep the same sleep schedule as you do? I think that might actually drive me crazy if they did, as I get the most tired when my kids get up with me and go to bed with me and I have no time to myself that is predictable and I know is coming.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.