I don’t care what anyone says and maybe for the women who love pregnancy, it is a lovely hard.  That has not been my experience. That doesn’t mean that I don’t birth healthy babies, because so far I always have.

I have had 4 natural births, 3 of them at home and 1 at a birth center. I know many would consider me lucky or privileged.

We usually have to pay the midwife out of pocket with our tax return. I am grateful for flexible midwives. I am grateful for the extra postpartum care I receive because we choose to go an alternative route. I am grateful to have conversations about the tests we want and the ones we don’t. I am grateful that my other children can attend the visits and ask whatever questions they have, however often they need to to feel part of the process. I am grateful that this is the 3rd pregnancy I am having with this midwife so she as well as Rob really knows what my “normal” is because I tend to forget.  

 But I am also very tired.  I’m in my 6th month of pregnancy and the little one has her regular kicking times.

 I am winding things down in my life rather than ramping them up. I am ready to go into my cave and see everyone in like half a year from now. Not that it will happen that way as I have four other kids who need to get to their activities.  And some social events are really nice distractions.

But I am tired.  I am tired of being asked how I feel.  Because I feel like I am supposed to say great when the truth is I feel pregnant (which is usually what I say).

 I really like the term “with child” because it’s not just me that is existing in this body. It’s not exactly another person yet either but someone is coming and growing and becoming a person.

 Regardless of what you believe this is a great time of mystery. Of standing in the hallway and not knowing which door I will be exiting from. I don’t really know who this person is going to be. I have a sense of her and it grows stronger most days, but I don’t know her yet. I just have the instinctual sense of who she is becoming but very little is written in stone yet.

It is a great time of waiting.  I feel like from the moment I know for sure I am pregnant time screeches to a halt and every day is a mini year, each week a decade, each month a lifetime, and those 10 months are the longest of my life

But looking back it seems to go by so fast. But going through it, it is so very slow.

 Every time I wake up I feel as though the baby belly is bigger. I am always hungry, even when I am eating. I am so sick of the small one complaining of what I am eating and of getting sick. It takes so long to recover.

 I miss naps. I need to reenact them next week. More afternoon naps which will lead to split days which will make each day feel longer and shorter but I need the sleep and so does she.

 I am so very tired but I am growing a person and keeping 4 others alive. That’s a lot of work besides running a business and looking after a homestead and a marriage and a life.

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It is that time of year again.  When we feel like we barely have our feet under us from getting the kids used to going back to school or in our case all the fall activities.  And now we have to prepare for the barrage of the holiday season.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years

They are all rapidly (I first wrote that word as rabidly and that seems to fit too) approaching us.  And all the demands and needs surrounding these holidays. Costumes, gifts, and food. Social events, presents for acquaintances (like teachers, leaders, postal carriers, doormen etc.), photos to get ready for cards, and so much more.

Not to mention apple picking, pumpkin patch going to, corn mazes, haunted houses, turkey hunts, potlucks, tailgates, holiday parties, and if you are involved in school or scouts there is going to be some kind of money earning your kids are supposed to participate in. And if you are lucky you have some family birthdays thrown in as well.  We have two, one in mid-October and one in late December.

So how are we going to survive all this, I mean besides with alcohol, binge watching tv or loads of chocolate (and the inherent weight gain)?  Is there a possibility of doing it a different way?
Can we plan to do it differently now, at the beginning of October?  Is it even possible?

As Rebel Mom’s I say it is.  We can choose to have a different experience if we want it (I mean if all of the above makes you happy and excited, then go for it!).  Here are some ideas of ways we have survived the holiday season in the past.

Limit your social obligations.  For the exception of about two weeks in December, we can only do things on one weekend day of the week, every single week.  So we can go to a couple of events on a Saturday if we stay home on Sunday (or vice versa though there has to be a very compelling reason for me to leave my home on a Sunday afternoon/evening).  It is okay to say no. You can do it kindly by saying “I’m sorry we have plans already.” No one needs to know that your plans are some chill time with your couch. This keeps a lot of the meltdowns at bay.

• Think about food.  Ahead of time. 

Not something I excel at most of the time but super important and I feel like I am winning when I have.  When you know you are going to a potluck and you add it to your calendar (and accept the invite) write down what you are going to bring.  If you have food allergies or special needs (which I think most of us do these days) plan to bring something YOU CAN eat. If you are like me and feel like there is rarely enough veggies or protein at these things, then be sure to bring that. {Bonus points: have a few dishes that are inexpensive, easy to make and readily liked at parties and just rotate through them.  There is nothing wrong with being known as the person who always brings the delicious soba salad.} Feed your kids (and spouse) a snack before you go.  It will keep them from hoovering the food table as soon as they get there, and make sure that if for some reason there isn’t enough (or they were too busy playing to come and eat) they are not going to starve.

Also, it’s a good idea to have a snack for the way home. Hey, it’s apple season, it can be a simple as packing those up.

• Think about energy levels. 

If you know that you and/or your family is going to be out late, plan accordingly.  Quiet Time in the afternoon before you go if possible, and a later start the next day is a must.  I mean you can totally skip it. But I have found that to be a guarantee for epic meltdowns later. 

{Notice I said quiet time NOT nap time.  You can’t make your kids take a nap, especially if they don’t normally take one.  You can, however, insist that they lie down and do something quiet, like listening to an audiobook, reading a book, or coloring/drawing.  I would avoid tablets and tv if you can, but if that’s the only way to keep them still and quiet then go for it.}

• Think about Gift Giving.  NOW.

Even if all you do is write a list of who needs gifts and some thoughts about what you are going to give them.  I am due with number 5 in January. I already know there is no way in hell I am going to want to go shopping in December.  And that includes online shopping. I already have a mental list of what I am giving non-family members. I really need to write it down, though.  I told my girls last night to start thinking about what they want to give/make their leaders because we are not doing that last minute!

{Note in our house you have to put your wishes to Santa in by Halloween so he has time to make them.  This also means I have time to find them. No last minute additions. He has a billion of kids to deliver to, don’t stress the man in the red suit out!!}

• Think and Ask What is MOST important to your family? 

Every year we do this.  We sit down with the kids and ask them what they want to be included in the Thanksgiving menu, what activities they want to be doing during the Christmas season (and sometimes it surprises me the things they want and don’t want to do, goodbye caroling, can we spend the whole day building gingerbread instead?).

Do they want to go apple picking, pumpkin patch hunting or visit a haunted house? Do they even want to go trick or treating? What cookies do they want to make? If you ask, then you can all get on the same page and that way you don’t drag everyone to an activity that no one really wants to do. This way you can spend the time you do have, during the holiday season doing what people want to do, rather than things you feel like you HAVE to do!

Have I missed anything?  What do you do to make this season of holidays and social obligations more enjoyable?  I’ll be asking these questions on social media throughout the upcoming months so feel free to send me a reply or comment!  If we all band together we can truly have the holiday season we want to have!

Read more holiday stories and tips on how to stay sane HERE.