As 21st Century Mums so much is expected of us. We are expected to have a clean, raise our kids, work or run a business, help with the homework, teach morals, have time for ourselves, time for partners, make every moment educating, deal with problems, playground politics and sweep up after ourselves as we go. For me the expectation was so much, I felt like I was being judged because I couldn’t keep up. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Mum, I would die for my kids, but sometimes, I think ‘what about me’, who is there for me?

Managing expectations of you and other people

After the birth of my oldest child (who is nearly 11) I suffered with anxiety and overwhelm. I felt like I was being judged by family members, like I was a failure because I couldn’t keep up. People would offer to help and I would say no because I thought that that was what being a good mum was, being strong and capable enough to do it myself.

My own Mum was like superwoman growing up, she had 3 kids all under the age of 4 and to me looking back at my childhood she really held it together (she claims she didn’t but more on that later), the house was spotless, we were allowed to play freely and my Mum even had time to read the latest trashy romance novel. My Mum did it by herself as to be fair, my Dad wasn’t much help, and she have moved from Kilmarnock in Scotland when she got married (to Dudley, just outside Birmingham) so there were no family around her to support her. So I had high expectations of what I should be able to achieve.

Making a change

However, after the birth of my second child in 2013 and starting my Spiritual Business full time, I soon realised that I couldn’t go on the way I was. The lack of sleep, the constant breastfeeding through the night and the family politics, meant that I was sinking deeper and deeper into overwhelm.

So when I took the children to the library, I went to the self-help section and a book by Gabrielle Bernstein caught my eye. It was called May Cause Miracles and I thought ‘I need a miracle!’ This book was a 40 day practice of spiritual tools and it changed my way of thinking and helped me to get to the core of my deep overwhelm and depression. This book came to me at the right time. I already had a brief spiritual practice of grounding and protecting my energy every day, but this wasn’t enough.

Why develop a spiritual practice?

May Cause Miracles is based on the Metaphysical Text a Course in Miracles, as text which I studied for a while and I recommend this to anyone wishing to break down old belief patterns. From the foundation I developed in this book I have been able to develop my own set of spiritual practices that suits me and my life.

Marianne Williamson states ‘The goal of spiritual practice is full recovery, and the only thing you need to recover from is a fractured sense of self.’ What I feel she means by this is that when you develop a spiritual practice in a form that suits you, it’s like getting to know yourself on a deep level. You start to feel more purpose in your life, you start to feel passionate about your path and even though it sounds cliché you start to feel that deep sense of inner peace. For me developing this spiritual practise meant that I could get to the root of my anxiety and listen to my soul and my intuition. It meant that I wasn’t up at 3am every night worrying about conversations that had happened in the day.

How to develop your own spiritual practice

For me the best time for my spiritual practices is the morning. It sets me up for the day with more clarity, focus and I can deal with any daily obstacles better. Some people have an evening routine, others prefer a middle of the day Zen time. Go with whatever suits you and your lifestyle. My morning routine that keeps me in check and has evolved a lot over the past six years. The good thing is you don’t have to join the 5am club to do it. I just love getting up early before the kids (both are early risers), to set me up for the day. When it comes to developing your own spiritual practice, think about what tools and modalities you have tried in the past first of all. Do you like meditation or mindfulness? Have you enjoyed journaling? Do you like to dance or do yoga? Do you love a cup of coffee in the peace and quiet or have a gratitude journal? Look at what brings you joy first of all.

My morning spiritual practice

I call my morning spiritual practice, my Soul Alignment practice and here it is:

1. Drink- for me this is a no brainer. It kick-starts my metabolism grounding and protection-I’m a medium so protecting my energy is important

2. Declutter your brain-write down everything that’s bothering you and needs to come out, so that you can start the day fresh.

3. Connection to the Infinite/the Universe-expanding my energy to encompass the Universe is an important part of stay at peace.

4. Write out your goals/dreams- I do this every day, as it keeps it in the forefront of my mind

5. Get moving for me 10 minutes of yoga or stretching alleviates and energy blockages within my body

6. Set your daily goals-this is important to keep you in connection with the life you want to live, it helps you to see the small achievements as well as the big and means that you are taking daily consistent action.

These are just a few ideas and they change for me as and when my intuition tells me to try something else. Some nights I may have been up all night with my six year old, so I only have the time or energy for a couple of these. Sometimes, something is better than nothing. Whilst this has been my journey to alleviating my anxiety and overwhelm, remember that everyone is different. If you need to seek medical help or therapeutic advice please do so. Creating this routine is only part of my story and that may be the same for you too. But it’s your story and your self-care and you matter.

Get your FREE copy of my eBook (13) 5 minute ways to connect with your soul HERE.

Joanne Smith is a wife, mom, animal and nature lover.  Her life took an unfortunate turn when she became a SURVIVOR of a brutal attack – true to her determined, firey, loving spirit she uses how this experience has shaped her life to inform and show others that we can all beat the odds, we can all surpass Doctors expectations and continue to adapt!

She is the owner of Dare to Dream Soaps and More where she creates luxurious body products.  She truly cares for each client and strives to have her numerous creations provide YOU with an experience. 

Dare To Dream and it will come true.