Losing My Shit (I’m not the only one right?)

by | Jan 30, 2018 | Parenting, Self-Care, Tips and Techniques, Truth-Telling

Last week my hubby was home sick, I didn’t feel well but of course the kids were fine.  Seemed like the perfect recipe for some shit losing.

What is your recipe?

 

Some days we have no energy. As mothers there is just nothing left, we are stretched thin and there is nothing but the thinnest piece of skin between us and the world and if you touch it, if you blow on it, if you make it vibrate with your noise we just might get torn, be swept over the edge, have that be the end of us.

We most certainly will lose our shit. It will be gone, lost and what might erupt out of us is Goddess-Kali-like-volcanic-energy. We might swear, shout, scream and throw a tantrum that would put our two year old in the corner in a ball. We might just completely and utterly lose our shit.

No one wants to see that. We don’t want to admit that even ever happens (but it does, you know it does when we are pushed too far). So instead we ingest large quantities of caffeine, chocolate, sugar, alcohol.

We find a way to binge watch TV or to pick a fight with our spouse, because we are going to blow and if we don’t take immediate action, the mess we are about to make will not be pretty. Not a fucking pretty sight.

This is not something our kids deserve to see, or be on the receiving end. But I guarantee that most of us parents can’t make it through getting our kids to adulthood without at least one major scream fest. Some of us just try and keep it down to once a month or quarterly, but I guarantee it happens.

Does it have to be this way? Can we look back and find ways to keep ourselves from being so stretched thin that the slightest breeze tips us over the edge? Is there anyway to prevent this colossal blow up from occurring? Can we keep it from happening?

Well, your road is different than mine. But here are some of the ingredients that I have found that add to the recipe of blowing up for me:

  • Not getting enough sleep
  • Not getting enough help
  • The house looking like a total shit hole and no one but me gives a damn
  • Too many social events and not enough time at home
  • Driving for days
  • Not enough time to read a piece of fiction
  • Not any time to work on creating something with my hands
  • Life stress, like say moving
  • Not eating good food
  • Not enough sleep, oh did I mention that one already?

These for me are some of the key ingredients that make a volcanic explosion. Notice that baking soda and vinegar are not required. However not using them to clean things can be an ingredient.

Can I control some of these? Sure I can do my best to go to bed at a decent hour (though whether or not I get woken up is not necessarily something I can control).

I can allow my kids to only sign up for one extra curricular activity at a time. It won’t kill them to choose just one, I have four kids, it might kill me if they do more than one.

I can say no to social events, or more importantly keep one weekend day a week where we stay home, period, I don’t care how amazing your social event is, it’s not as amazing as my blow up later the next week because I didn’t get any time off.

I can hire a housekeeper. Haven’t done it yet, but you better believe it is on my bucket list, because my kids are not reliable cleaners….

I can make sure that I always have access to a good piece of fiction and that I can at least sneak away to read for 5 minutes a day.

I can have craft projects strew across the house so I am never far from one I can make.

I can speak to my hubby about my needs, and when they are not being met and find creative ways to get time off, like a long bath, a nap or just a sleep in day, or maybe he could just make the next couple of meals for me.

These things and more can happen and when they do the explosions get further apart. I am more often able to see they are coming and find a way to head them off, or explode away from my kids so they don’t have to be a part of it.

Will they ever truly go away? I don’t think so because I am human. And part of being human is losing your shit from time to time. Some of the most valuable lessons in life come from the shit losing.

Sometimes the only way to make space for something new is to lose something first, and yes sometimes that truly is our shit.

And sometimes those explosions turn out to be massive crying events rather than scream fests. Just Sayin’

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

It Needs To Be Easier: 4 Ways I’ve Loosened Up My Health Rules As A New Mom

by | Jan 25, 2018 | Cooking, Parenting, Tips and Techniques

A real look at what eating healthy with an under year old looks like!

 

I’m a new mom.  I’m also a health coach.

Before I was a mom, I thought I was asking other moms (and men and women generally) to do things that were fairly simple.  I knew that I found these things to be easy, but I guess I didn’t fully realize how much something else can become a priority over oneself.

Because, at least for me, that’s what being a mom has meant these past 8 months.  I come in at best (but rarely) tied for first, and more often second to my baby boy.

So I’ve come up with a list of things that I normally did to keep myself healthy pre-baby… and the alternatives I’m using now because even 8 months in THIS. SHIT. IS. HARD.

Big Pot Meals – so pre-Finn my husband and I would make one or two big meals for the week.  It meant that we always had something healthy that we could grab and we didn’t have to purchase crazy expensive lunches in NYC.  What’s hard about this now is that cooking requires a set period of time wherein I can wield a knife without fear of chopping off a baby finger.  And since my kid doesn’t nap much (yea… that’s a thing…) OR care to be put down… that gets hard.

INSTEAD – I’ve started having singular, easy to throw together things ready.  A pot of rice all made, beans, a chicken roasted, veggies roasted, sweet potato roasted… pretty much all things roasted.  It cuts down on overall cooking time and I can quickly get one done before the kid freaks without having the stress of finishing everything overall.

Farmer’s Market – A variety of veggies is best for you.  And often they only have the standards at the grocery store.  I do plan to get back to the market in not too long, but really what this is about is the knife time mentioned above.  I’d love to hand chop everything, but time and available hands often doesn’t allow.

INSTEAD – So pre-chopped and bagged it is.  Frozen veggies (as long as they’re organic) are actually pretty great too, since their flash frozen at the height of the season.  This ensures that many of the nutrients are still available.  Just avoid the canned stuff if you can.  I’ll see you in the spring farmer’s market!  (Maybe…)

Smoothies are SOO EASY! – Lies apparently.  I mean, they should be.  But there’s lots of stuff to get out and put in and you’re trying to look up recipes that taste good but also pack a nutritional wallop and just no.  Not right now.

INSTEAD – I’m usually not a fan of the powders because I want my clients to take in as much real food as possible.  But this right here is the reason they exist.  For those times when it just feels REALLY HARD to get the nutrition you want, but have no hands.  This one I’d say use sparingly and DO take the time to research good brands that avoid unnecessary additives.  Take a look at the ingredients list (not the nutrition facts… the ingredients list) before buying.

Just get ten minutes of exercise in a few times a day! – OOOOOOK.  This one I do think is still great advice when you can.  But when you have the time to do this baby has a tendency to NOT be in the mood to play along.

INSTEAD – This is what specialized exercise classes are for.  I teach and attend Stroller Strides classes specifically for moms with babies who need to get some movement in but can’t do it kid free.  There’s classes like this that will accommodate almost any type of lifestyle.  Even if it’s not your favorite type of exercise, it’s worth it to keep your body moving and strengthening so that when you’re able to get back into your preferred exercise, your body is along for the ride.  (Ahem… this applies to NON-mothers too!)

I don’t just work with moms.  I work with CEOs, performers, managers, entrepreneurs, waiters… a whole bunch of different kinds of people.  And The list above applies to ALL of them as well because every single one of them was better at putting something (anything, really) before their health.  It can be hard to change your status quo so, yea, making these changes isn’t easy.

Let’s take the excuses away and figure out what WILL make this work in your life.  E-mail me at katie@keepingitrealkatie.com if you’d like help figuring out your unique lifestyle of health needs 🙂

Katie Gall helps people discover the full power of their body’s ability to achieve optimal health, create a habit of self-love, and live in harmony with their body.

Katie Gall is a Health, Wellness and Empowerment Coach. She helps people discover the full power of their body’s ability to achieve optimal health, create a habit of self-love, and live in harmony with their body.

Exercising is not easy

by | Jan 23, 2018 | Movement, Parenting, Truth-Telling

Are we programming our children to stop moving?

 

Exercise is not Easy

Especially around kids

I mean some of us are kinetic and like to move, and certainly that is the way most humans seem to be born into the world

But then so many things go wrong.

We go to school, or doctors offices, or other places where the adults in our lives asks us to sit still.

to calm down

to stop moving so much

And I get it, as a parent who is on a constant vigil to keep these kids alive.

Sometimes I am too tired to continue to watch them moving.

Much too tired for that.

But this is how we learn not to move.

By being told to sit still

Discovering TV, smart phones, video games

things that passively entertain us

Even hand crafts like sewing or quilting, knitting, crocheting and needlework slow us down

and make us sit still

and then slowly but surely our bodies start to complain

Aches and lack of flexibility

Injuries when we go and actually play with our kids

Years working in an office in front of a computer

These all cause us to stop moving

So then the siren call of exercise starts. Especially if we have gained weight,

or just gotten slumpy in the mirror.

But most of it isn’t fun

It’s just something we do because we bought the program, bought the gym membership, bought the idea that if we do lots and lots of aerobics we will be happy again

We will look like the models, or the amazing mothers on TV.

Because who really wants to admit to stretch marks?

Or that we’d rather eat chocolate and ice cream and catch up on our sleep than move our bodies.

Because watching our children and keeping them from committing suicide accidentally, because they are constantly moving is

Exhausting

But yet we have to move our bodies too…

How do we change this?

How do we figure this out?

How do we stop shaming our bodies, our lives, ourselves?

Because after years of being told to sit still, we now suddenly have to move. Our brains aren’t wired to move any more, our body doesn’t remember, and yet if we can keep at it, day in and day out it will help.

At least we can try, to give ourselves grace. To understand it’s our fault and not our fault.

And to just make the subtlest choices to stand instead of sit, to walk instead of drive, to dance instead of sit still.

And maybe every now and then not admonish our children to sit still.

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

I am Ignoring my Kids, how about you?

by | Jan 16, 2018 | Parenting, Teenagers, Truth-Telling

I can’t be the only mom with selective hearing right?

 

I am trying to write a blog post.

My youngest two daughters on the other hand think that it is time to sit in my office and paint their nails.

Their nails, right now, while chattering no, make that, shouting at each other.

While I am trying to write.

While I am writing, because I have gotten good at the art of selective hearing.

It’s not just for men any more.

I am not really listening to them.

I am doing my utmost to ignore them.

Seriously I am tuning out the noise as much as humanly possible and just listening for some key words/sounds.

Mom, which can be continued to be ignored for at least an additional 30 seconds.

Accident, now that requires instant investigation.

Synonyms are oops, darn it, did you see that said in the right tone and I’m sorry.

But the general fighting/squabbling, -wait I mean talking – that can be ignored.

Completely.

So I can write this. For you to read, while you are probably ignoring some strange chattering sounds your kids are making.

Unless you are reading this in silence. If that is the case then you had better STOP reading. RIGHT. NOW.

Because we all know that if the kids are awake and with you, sounds of silence need to be investigated.

Unless of course they are teenagers.

But even then if there are any other teenagers involved I plan to investigate. Because you never know. It may be perfectly harmless. But if it’s not then I want to know what is going on.

Right Now.

But as long as I can hear them. As long as they are chatting/fighting/making noise, then I can write this for you.

Is it any wonder by the time my hubby comes home at night my ears are tired?

My auditory load is overwhelmed?

That if I have to listen to one more fucking word from my kids I might explode?

Okay the last bit isn’t EVERY night. Just sometimes.

When is playing outside without wet icky stuff tracked inside my house happening?

Wait can you hear that?

I can’t either.

Time to find out what is going on!

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Cabin Fever

by | Jan 9, 2018 | Parenting, Truth-Telling

What does a wicked cold front for weeks plus two blizzards and holidays equal?  Why Cabin Fever of course!

 

It has been an interesting re-entry into the world and introduction to 2018.

Starting before Christmas we got wicked cold weather here in Maine, and when I say wicked, I mean highs not getting above freezing and single digits in Fahrenheit people (which trump’s Celsius when describing the cold any day)!  Which means my kids have been inside.

For weeks.

Inside.  I have four kids remember?  At 11, 9, 4 and almost 6 that is a lot of people taking up space.  Oh and my hubby was home between Christmas and New Years as well.  Which means six of us and the cat in a three bedroom two floor house.

Yay.  That’s interesting.  What I realized last week as we were facing a Bombogenesis which is just a hurricane out of season that dumps a shit tonne of snow and wind and then scoopes arctic air from you guessed it the Arctic – that we have full blown cabin fever at my house.

Yes, it’s only the beginning of January, and therefore seems way too soon for such a malady.

But here let me list the symptoms:

  • Way more girl-on-girl fighting than normal, and some of it getting physical.
  • They are actually bored with what they are allowed to watch on tv
  • New colossal games are organized, and then soon abandoned with the pieces strewn everywhere
  • Parental tolerance and patience flew out the window a long time ago
  • The words “I don’t know what to do” are spoken often because they know if they say “I’m Bored” chores will be handed out
  • They are actually wanting to do things they normally put off just to have something to do…

And we are only in the single digits of January.  The local weather forecasters suggested that this winter we would be front-loaded with snow and storms early on, and so far that has panned out.  I am just hoping that they are right about the front-loaded part and that maybe by say the end of March we will be done with the white stuff.

Wait the end of March?

That’s fucking months from now.

I am going to need more wine, beer, and books.  Oh and maybe a better set of noise canceling headphones.

Yep that should do me.  And hours behind a locked door.  Yep that’s good.

That should help me get to spring

And lovely MUD SEASON!

 

Chase Young is the founder of The Mommy Rebellion a place for judgment-free parenting.  She’s created a place to get tips, tools and support for what it is truly like to be a mother, stories from the trenches that show you you’re not alone.  Tips that real mothers use.  Tools to give to yourself and to your parenting friends to feel more focused, have more patience and energy, and feel less tired and snappy .  
You can follow Chase here on this blog, sign up for her newsletter here and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.