I am loving the book shown to the right, The Teenage Brain, it is really helping me to understand what is going on in my adolescent’s brain, and to know that there are some things she just isn’t ready for yet. I plan to do a full book review in the future, but in the meantime, here are two videos that help you understand in a snap shot what is going on in that brain.
Poetry again this week.
These Girls of Mine
I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you, readers, contributors, and friends. Here’s to another year of changing the world!
Teaching Gratitude
Teach kids Gratitude
Is not in my experience an easy and graceful task. At least not for my girlies.
But I know that by training our minds to look for gratitude, to look for the good things in life, we can, in fact, train our mind to keep looking for them, and this, this is something that is important to teach my girls, for me and my husband.
So back in 2014 the girls and I made the above gratitude tree as part of our November celebration and part of getting ready for the holiday season and Thanksgiving. The girls helped me color in the tree and then they each helped write what was on each of the leaves and we added to it as the month went on.
And for the ages of my girls this perfect for their attention span, their need to do everything with their hands, and lots of color and texture.
We didn’t do it this year though, partially because I didn’t think of it, and also because we have a new piece of furniture on that wall. But we do have a daily practice around gratitude.
Every night as we all sit down for our evening meal everyone is says something they are grateful for. Preferably something from that day if it is time specific, so this time of year you can’t simply say that it is one day closer to Christmas, you have to also say something else.
Small or big, it’s all good. Just the other day my youngest actually said she was grateful for one of her sisters, which is a big first for her, and considering how she has been treating them lately, really good to hear.
It is a nice ritual to set the tone of the meal, calm everyone down, take turns listening because we can’t hear if we all go at once, and let everyone have a chance to say something, which in a family of six can be a small miracle in itself at times.
How do you teach gratitude to your kids? How do you practice it yourself, and is it something you model?
Sometimes kids swear. Instead of being appalled, Michelle Thompson, Ph.D., JD. suggests we listen and by doing so we just might get more of an answer to how our teenagers are doing than simply “fine.”
I just spent the week away from my family and all went well.
For Veteran’s Day, my 13-year-old son had some friends over to play games with him and alleviate the loneliness of being an only child. And come over they did, some friends from his school soccer team.
My partner removed herself from the room to give them space to play.
What a great thing!
And she was appalled at the language they used. Yep, his friends are swearing (lest she thinks any foul language is my fault . . .), and they’re not interested in anything else aside from video games and their phones. No discussion of girls, pornography, or drugs.
We’re safe for the next 5 minutes. Then again, most of them are still pre-pubescent.
My partner was a little upset though because she chafes at foul language.
I LOVED using foul language the minute I could when away from home when I was 12.
But that’s not the point. No matter how difficult it seems to have these young people over, it is critical. For a family who has not the patience to homeschool, this is the only way we get a more unvarnished window into their lives. What matters to them? Why does it matter? What are the challenges? What are the joys?
I know that I can’t get answers to these questions asking “how was school,” as the proverbial “fine” gets me NOTHING. He won’t swear like a sailor when checking in!
But hearing how they play with language, what they are focused on, what they love, and what they hate matters.
Right now, they love foul language.
We get to debrief with James about what they’re saying and hear what he’s thinking.
I told my partner to think of this as a big old research project. She’s an academic. We love research. Let’s do it!
The window is closing in terms of us getting to have James and his friends with us. I want to keep it open as long as possible. I want our house to be where the kids hang out. I want to listen in on what they’re doing and saying. This could be the key to heading off any future difficulties.
Michelle Dionne Thompson, Ph.D., JD is the Founder and CEO of Michelle Dionne Thompson Coaching and Consulting, a primarily coaching business that works with women in law and academia to set and meet aligned goals sanely in the midst of insane industries. A recovering lawyer and a historian, she also teaches college and is writing her first book, Jamaica’s Accompong Maroons (1838 – 1905): Retooled Resistance for Continued Existence.
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